Fake boobs, cape mishaps and banana hammocks, ladies and gentlemen this is Dancing With The Stars

Guilty pleasures night, yikes:

Okay so Louis wants Kendra to shake everything that God gave her and she said God didn't give her these boobs. I hear ya Kendra, he didn't give me much either. But I stuck with what he gave me because, well I'm not a stripper/Playboy Bunny/pole dancing whore. Kendra shook. All three judges were turned on, even Bruno and I thought he was gay. Kendra is not going to shake the whole stripper/Playboy Bunny/pole dancing whore thing when Bruno wants to do it on the judges table with her and threw money at her. I thought he was gay. Thank you Bruno for keeping elegance in the ballroom on this family show. Kendra is offended when Carrie Ann tells her she's afraid of elegance but not when Bruno wants to have sex with her on live television.

The premise behind Guilty Pleasures Night is that the songs that are picked are songs we like but are embarrassed to tell anyone. So I got to hear MmmBop by Hanson. And sung by Hanson all grown up. No wonder I'm in such a good mood today, the song has been stuck in my head since last night. I think I'll get it as a ringtone.

Ralph, what the hell? He looked 10 years younger last night. What did they do to him? It's got to be spray tan or a face lift. He was in this ridiculous costume with a humongous cape and Karina had a cape dress thing. They were flapping those capes around like they were trying to take flight and inevitably Karina tripped on Ralph's cape and fell. She was explaining what happened but our stellar interviewer, Brooke, cut her off, because she sucks at her job. So Karina being Maks' ex fell on the dance floor too .... hmmmm. I don't know if those two get along but maybe she had a little smirk when Maks fell and this is karma paying her back. I guess we'll see, if Ralph loses his shoe next week.
Tom Bergeron, God's wonderful gift to Live Television, set up an Elton John video for us and pointed out that one of the dancers to I'm Still Standing was none other than Bruno. Bruno on the beach in a banana hammock. Yeah, he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.