Sunday, October 21, 2012

Giant step to the point of no return

It is time for my monthly contribution to this months blog chain prompt over at Absolute Write.

This month's prompt:

Ghouls, ghost and things that go bump in the night. Old Hallows Eve, Dia de los Muertos and Halloween. October is the month where the veil between our world and the Other thins. So this month is about those things beyond our world, be they scary, funny or anything in between. Write wherever the prompt inspires you,
fiction or non-fiction, prose or poetry. Do try and keep things at a PG-13 level, though.

My brain has a hard time multitasking when it comes to my writing. It isn't letting much out except my novel because I've been fooling around with it too long. So my post is another excerpt from the novel that has taken over my brain.
Please don't forget my fellow bloggers below. Have a look at what they came up with this month.


“Are we able to speak freely Stephen?”
“Yes, I told them to give us some time to access our new patient. James, how did you arrange this?”
James watched Stephen run his hand through his hair and then stopped to grab onto a fist full, his face clouded over with uncertainty. His other hand slapped his chest and he unconsciously gathered his shirt into his fist. He was starting to panic.
“Stephen you wanted this knowledge. I can show you so much. Things you would never believe. This man laying here is a drifter, no family and an aneurism in his brain ready to burst. He would have been dead in less than a month, he’s perfect for our plan to proceed.”
Dr. James Matsuo and Dr. Stephen Ellis had been friends and colleagues for almost ten years. Immersing themselves in the world of molecular and human genetics, developmental biology and neuroscience who became know as top in their fields. They were the government’s first and immediate choice for what was quickly becoming a global crisis.
Stephen knew he had already taken several small steps towards never turning back. This man on the exam table in a drug induced coma represented his giant step to the point of no return. Science and its discoveries are intriguing and exciting. Unraveling what others could not was an indescribable high. That is how this project started and then Stephen went a little further, stretching his standards thinner than he had planned. He dropped some of his principles along the way and ended up right where they were now, about to deceive his country. Because when you bend the rules of morality eventually they break and there is no going back.
James knew how Stephen struggled but he pushed a little more,
“I just need an hour without any interference. Can you manage that my friend?”
Time stood still for Stephen, beads of sweat formed on his forehead, he nervously wiped his clammy palms on his white lab coat. He made eye contact with James. He and James had come so far in their field and now with the promise of further advancement he took the giant step,
“Yes. You can do this in an hour?”
“I promise you I can. I haven’t misled you in any way so far. You still trust me right?”
“I have no doubt James.”
James smiled at his long time friend and put his hand on his shoulder, gave him a reassuring squeeze,
“Then you go, brief them on the findings we discussed earlier. And by the time you get back they will think he’s the Alien and never suspect that I am the one they have been looking for these past ten years.”


Hillary Jacques said...

Intriguing twist!

S.R.Howen said...

Good ending line, makes me want to read more.

Anonymous said...

Nice twist! Seems there's always a hobo scapegoat (hobgoat) around when there's nefarious doings afoot :)

Incidentally, I wouldn't capitalize "Molecular and Human Genetics, Developmental Biology and Neuroscience" unless you're talking about university classes.

Sue said...

Thank you. Glad you liked it and I will certainly take you advice orion. Hobo's just can't catch a break when aliens are near. ;-)

wonderactivist said...

Fun story. I like the feeling of your dangling something in front of me. One sentence didn't read quite right to me: "Immersing themselves in the world of molecular and human genetics, developmental biology and neuroscience who became know as top in their fields."

I'm thinking "they became known" but am not certain it's what you wanted.

The twist at the end is fun. I like this a lot and think you should expand it a little and sub.

Diane Dooley said...

Ooh, nice twist in the ending!

Anonymous said...

An engaging read, Sue! Will future chapters lead to remorse, mistrust and a day of reckoning? Nice job pulling the reader in for more.

Sue said...

wonderactivist - That does sound better. This novel is in it's rough draft stage, so any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Thank you Diane!

Alan - Yes. There are a series of twists swirling around in my head. I'm waiting to see which one settles in first.

Diane Carlisle said...

Wonderful twist at the end! I had no idea where it was going, but all I could think...they did this same sort of recklessness in Jurassic Park! :)

Nice job, Sue!

Anonymous said...

That was good. I liked it, the ending threw me off (in a good way) because I expected something much more "medical" than fantastic. Nice!

Sue said...

Diane - Yes there is some scientific recklessness going on in this novel.

hospitaloflife - Glad I could throw you off. Thanks.

randi lee said...

As others have said, love the twist! Very nicely written. I was gripped from the first word to the last :)

Christina Jean Michaels said...

The end came as a complete surprise. Great twist!

C R Ward said...

Oh, I like the twist! Hurry up and finish the book so I can read the whole thing. :-)

Alynza Smith said...

Anything with some sort of "fringe" science is a plus with me! Nice twist you have going on there.

Anonymous said...

I feel like I just visited the Twilight Zone. Great short story.