JAWS, Through the Eyes of the Innocent

Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head. I never get tired of that scene, never get tired of the movie.

Our family watches it all the time. We have JAWS on VHS, we've never updated to DVD, it's always on TV. The family, all together one Sunday, including a couple girlfriends, we were deep into "movie" conversation. JAWS of course being the classic that it is started to dominate the conversation. Boy #2's girlfriend was quiet, too quiet. She explains to us she's never seen it. The hell you say! Boy #3 and I torn apart the spare room looking for the JAWS tape, Boy #1 and the husband made fun of her and Boy #2 started wiring the VCR to the TV again.
To actually find someone that has never seen JAWS and to be able to watch it with them as they see it for the first time, well that's huge. Then add the fact that the girlfriend is packing to go on an ocean cruise with her family, that's just priceless.
She's a screamer. She was sitting in a chair and Boy #2 was sitting on the floor, she kept smacking him on the head saying, "Oh my God!" He eventually put his football helmet on.
We haven't watched the uncut version of JAWS in so long we had forgotten how much Quint was chewed up. No wonder my cousin had nightmares after she saw it at the theater when she was 12. She thought the shark was going to come out of her toilet. It's time to upgrade to DVD and have some more people over to scare.

Our Golden Tickets

It all started with free Cleveland Indians Baseball tickets, a magical, summer evening of baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. There are tickets to baseball games out there in the world that come with free food. I know all about the loge tickets, those are not what I'm referring to.
In the stadium, up the escalator, the unfortunate fans that had to pay for their food, took a left, we Golden Ticket holders turned right. Glass doors were opened for us, tickets checked, paper bracelets were double sticky taped around our wrists and we were ushered into a cornucopia of stadium food. Imagine going to a baseball game hungry, wondering what to have and then realizing you can have everything. There was a hamburger and hot dog grill with french fries, a nacho stand, a pasta bar, pizza and sticking out like a sour thumb - a carved beef station, holy crap carved beef! All the snack foods were well represented, popcorn, peanuts, cotton candy and hot pretzels.
Along for the feeding frenzy ride with me were the husband, Boy #2 and Boy#3. None of us stayed in our seats very long. We would glance at each other and say, "What do you feel like eating now?" The people in the bleachers were trying to get "The Wave" started in the stadium but it stopped when it got to our section. We were just to bogged down with food to bother standing up and lifting our arms.
In the middle of all the food was a pop machine (I'm from Ohio, we call it pop not soda and I refuse to conform) the nozzles went on forever, Pepsi flavors to the left and right of me. But this proved to be the trickiest part of the evening. We should have just stood back and observed, but we jumped right in. No lines formed for this little slice of heaven, the object was to stand back and stick your arm in and fill you glass, more pop could flow this way. Eventually we caught on and didn't look like morons standing in front taking up space. Boy #2 must've drank him fifteen Dr. Peppers.
Needless to say we ate and drank our fill. There was a baseball game going on too, we watched some of that. Did I mention the ice cream parlor?

Starbucks Across From a Starbucks

When I heard in the news that Starbucks plans to close 600 of it's stores, I immediately thought of Lewis Black.

So if you are planning on visiting the end of the universe, you better hurry.

Exorcism Squads

I heard on the news today that Pope Benedict XVI has said there needs to be more exorcisms performed in the world. Well it's about damn time. I haven't seen a good exorcism since about 1973. This is good news for entertainment bloggers, there's nothing on TV in the summer.

Of course we'll need a few volunteers to film the live exorcisms and post them on YouTube. I'm a little skittish or I would do it. The news failed to tell us when the barrage of exorcisms would start, I would imagine there is some recruiting and training involved. You really don't see exorcist on many resumes. Nevertheless be on the look-out for an Exorcist Squad coming to your town this summer.

Tuesday Night Bull-Crap

You'd think I'd have more time to post with nothing on TV in the summer. Wait a minute........ I blog about television, there's nothing on television.........
You can see where I'm having the problem. Actually the husband has taken control over the remote this summer and who can blame the poor guy after last fall and my wild viewing schedule.
I wouldn't mind watching America's Got Talent, because let's face it, it's a bloggers dream. I watched the last seven minutes of it last week and realized what a hyped-up, phoney baloney, plastic banana, load of crap show it was - only seven minutes. There's the audience cheering their heads off for someone who is suppose to be unknown, yet they knew his name. We, the viewing audience are told his life story. He was left raising his brothers and sisters after his mother left them, because she was being abused by the father. I'll let that sink in a minute..........

She left her children with their abusive father, got it?

I don't even know this guys name, but he's about to make it big on America's Got Talent and guess what? Momma came home! Awesome!

It's that kind of bull-crap I'm missing every Tuesday night.

In Plain Sight

On rare occasions the husband and I find a television show that we both enjoy watching. It doesn’t happen often, but we have agreed on In Plain Sight. I think the husband likes to see where, Mary, the main character that is a US Marshal, will hide her Blackhawk holsters. One time, under a bridesmaid dress. One reason I watch is to see Raphael without his shirt. The episode last night had me questioning the Witness Protection Program and the liberties television will take. It was my understanding that when in the Witness Protection Program you were hidden, you know from the people that wanted to kill you. But this episode had a high school basketball player on his way to the Pro’s. Huh? He’d be on TV!