Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Sue has another blog and she ignores it. But not today.

I jumped back into Absolute Writes blog chain after a short hiatus (laziness).
Be sure to check out the list of other writers and their contributions to the prompt. They are listed below.

This month's prompt:
Dialogue Only

Make a post that is only back-and-forth dialogue, with no description or tags. As always, it may be fiction or nonfiction, prose or poetry, or any other form you care to use. If you want an additional prompt for your dialogue, you can use "Wrong Place, Right Time," but this is strictly optional.

Please let me know if you follow this post or get confused on who is speaking, I really want to know. It is an actual conversation between my son and me. 

Oh and Blogger sucks. It makes it's own paragraph spaces no matter what I do, sorry.

"It's a ten year old car, stuff breaks."

“But mom the rear view mirror is just hanging.”
"I think they sell a special glue just for rear-view mirrors, pretty sure, yeah they do, let me call your father."
”Yeah they do.”

“Do they have it at WalMart?”

“Let me call your father.”

”Yeah they do.”
”Then can we pick some up now since we’re going there anyway?”

“Sure put it on your ‘stuff to eat after getting my wisdom teeth surgically remove’ list.”

“This isn’t going to take long is it?”

“I sense your concern and I promise I won’t embarrass you.”

“It’s just that last time I went shopping with you ……”
”Hey. I got this.”

“You always feel the need to talk to strangers. You sent me mixed messages as a kid, you know.”

“Get out of the car and in the store before I take those teeth out myself.”

“Fine mom, let’s get the glue first.”
”Wait we just walked right past the shopping carts, we need one of those."
"Here's the glue aisle. Look at all of them. Which one?”
"I'm going to go ask that car guy over there if he knows about special rear-view mirror glue, you continue to look."
"Can I help you ma'am?"
"Yes, do you have special glue for rear-view mirrors that fall off the windshield?"
"Yes, let me show you. I saw some of that glue yesterday, I hope we're not out of it. You know it has a funny name, maybe that's why you can't find it."
"Yep, you'll laugh when you see it."
"Ah, we still have some, see here, isn't that a funny name? REAR-VIEW MIRROR ADHESIVE.”
"I can't believe we didn't see that."
"Either can I, hey I got a joke for you."
”You’re a funny guy, thanks for the help. We have to be going now.”

“What the heck? Is he the WalMart comedian?”

“Shhhh wait until we are out of his range. You know that wasn’t my fault right? I was trying to jump into his comedy routine without being rude.”

“I wish I could find a job where all I had to do was tell bad jokes all day.”
"I should tell you the joke Grama told your dad and me."
"Don’t worry, it's not that bad."
"Here's the Popsicles."

So there's this little girl and she has her dog on a leash ready to take it for a walk.’

"What kind do you want?"
"Grape? They don't sell just grape, they have grape with orange and cherry."
"I'll just eat the grape ones."

So this little girl, she asks her mom if she can take the dog for a walk and the mom says, no she's in heat.’

"What else do you want? You need cold stuff because your throat will hurt too, these will really help. Oh the red, white and blue bomb pops. I love those."
"I don't like those, I want fudgesicles."

So she says the dogs in heat you can't take her for a walk and the little girl pouts and insists on taking the dog for a walk.’

"Not those, they're fat free. You need all the calories you can get. No, those are sugar free."
"Just forget it. I don't need fudgesicles."
"Would you wait one minute, I know there are regular sugar filled fudgesicles here somewhere. Fine, just walk away, we have to get your dad's pop, go to the pop aisle."

So the mom says to the little girl, go ask your father. The little girl finds her father in the garage and says she wants to take the dog for a walk. She's in heat honey you can't take her for a walk. But he looks at her sad face and says wait a minute. He gets a rag, pours a little gasoline on it, rubs it on the dogs ass and says there, you take her around the block once, just once, okay?’

”Do you see why we need a shopping cart? I’m going to drop something. We should get Gatorade."
"I just want to go."
"Where is this coming from? We were just laughing with the car guy and now your popping an attitude."
"Can I just say something?"
"Jesus Christ, alright go ahead."
"Why do I have to suffer because people can't put their forks down? Everything is fat free or sugar free. I want a fudgesicle full of sugar."

“Are you done?”


Okay so the little girl takes her dog for the walk. She comes back to the garage alone. Uhh, honey, where's the dog? Oh daddy, she ran out of gas about half way around the block so another dog is pushing her home.’


The Others:


DR Slaten said...

OMG. That was too funny. It sounds so familiar. Well, except I'm not that funny. lol And I suck at telling jokes. ;)

Sue said...

Thank you DR! I learned to tell jokes from my mom. She learned from her uncles and they were terrible. Not bad jokes just the one that I had to leave the room for. Of course I would sneak into ear shot, didn't understand a lot of them then. But OMG the stuff I heard.

Rafael said...

And puppies! Also I suspect that joke has more dimensions that the daughter didn't get, including laughing with men in department stores.

Anonymous said...

Lol. That was pretty funny. It takes a bit of concentration, but I could totally follow along :)

C R Ward said...

LOL I can totally relate to how much persistance it takes to get a joke out while shopping!

Anonymous said...

Aww, Blogpress totally ate my last comment. I love your writing but I hate this platform.

orion_mk3 said...

Blogger's eaten my comment twice now :( I love your writing but I hate this platform.