View of Sue

Because of what you said

2012-02-18T16:19:00.004-05:00

This months blog chain assignment.

This month's prompt:
Second Chances

Again, go wherever the prompt takes you. It can be fiction or non-fiction; the second chance in question can be a mushy valentine or a 1-up in Super Mario (or anything in between).

Long ago I was given a clear message by a total stranger. I think of her more and more as the years go by and wonder if she has any idea how she impacted my life. I don't think she does. I write about it often, this is my short and sweet version:

_____________________________________

It’s been at least 30 years since last we spoke, your face has faded in my memory. Did you have short brown hair? I think you did. I would not be able to pick you out in a crowd and I don’t know your name. But I would like to thank you because of what you said.

When I found you sitting on the windowsill at the top of the stairs you told me you had to rest and asked me to join you. Out the window the sun was shining at it’s brightest just before it set. I had the choice to squint into it or look down the dark stairwell. But then you began to speak, drawing my attention to you, having me look neither left or right but straight ahead. That was why I was there, to listen to what you had to say. Because sometimes when we are young a stranger will tell you things you already know but they can find the crack in the wall you’ve put up to ignore those that love you.

My life was going in the wrong direction and I didn’t think I had the strength to stop it. The words of your journey mirrored mine, you couldn’t have been much older than me but you had made the mistake I was about to make. I don’t know what brought us together that day but because of what you said, you change my life.

More second chances to read!
Participants and posts:
Turndog-Millionaire - http://turndog-millionaire.com/ (link to this month's post)
orion_mk3 - http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines - http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
magicmint - http://www.loneswing.com/ (link to this month's post)
Tomspy77 - http://thomaswillamspychalski.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
LilGreenBookworm - http://themayhemofwritingsahm-style.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
LiterateParakeet - http://lesliesillusions.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
AFord - http://af12.webs.com/ (link to this month's post)
writingismypassion - http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Bogna - http://bemaslanka.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
kiwiviktor81 - http://storygenerator.net/ (link to this month's post)
randi.lee - http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
These Mean Streets - http://ohno-anotherwritingblog.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
areteus - http://lurkingmusings.wordpress.com/ (link to this month's post)
Domoviye - http://living-working-in-china.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
pyrosama - http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
SuzanneSeese - http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
julzperri - http://www.fishandfrivolity.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
Nissie - http://www.paperheroes.net/ (link to this month's post)
in_one - http://quirkythomas.blogspot.com/ (link to this month's post)
sambgood - http://www.samanthabagood.com/ (link to this month's post)

Winter's Nightmare

2012-01-17T21:01:00.005-05:00

This month's prompt for the January Blog Chain at Absolute Write:
Winter Nightmare

Another broad one: go wherever the prompt takes you. It can be fiction or non-fiction, the nightmare can be Cthulhu or just a struggle with a troublesome New Year's resolution (or anything in between).

I go where my mind takes me and this post turned out to be fiction and I'm hoping the beginning of a short story. It's also creepy, for me anyway.
This story started from two post on my humor blog. I know, I have a weird brain. Sorry if I creep you out.
Here and here are the posts if you are interested.
Be sure to check out my fellow blog chain buddies and what they did with the Winter Nightmare prompt below.

_____________________________________

The trees were the first to feel the impact of the raging winter storm. Their branches that were covered in the morning rain began to freeze as the temperature dropped. Ice crystallized and weighed them down. The weaker branches snapped from the weight and those that struggled to support the cumbersome burden gave way to the wind that whipped in frenzy. As the rain turned to snow, visibility became difficult for the neighborhood. The radio stations alerted the community to stay indoors and wait out the blizzard.

While most took heed to the warnings, one of the few drivers out on the roads was only blocks from his house. Delayed by a meeting at work he slowly drove on the unplowed roads seeking the safety of his home. Barely able to see five feet in front of the hood of his car, he gripped the steering wheel tightly. With only 500 feet or so left to his driveway he almost let himself relax, until he felt a thump. First at the front of his car and then he knew his back tires drove over something.

Looking out the review mirror he could barely make out an object on the road. He cursed and stopped his car. The wind and snow made it almost impossible to see as he made his way around the back of his vehicle. The creature lay there in the road unmoving. The man surveyed his surroundings. No one was in sight, everyone was safe in his or her warm home. He dragged the creature into a wooded area and haphazardly covered it with snow. The man then continued his short journey home to wait out the storm.

The man, in his haste, didn’t see the shallow breathing of the creature. It lay to wounded to move in the freezing snow as night fell. Small insects from the earth seeking warmth burrowed in to the skin of the dying animal. They fed on its flesh and burrowed in deeper, feasting on its organs.

Power lines were the next to succumb to the ice and blowing snow. Isolating the community during the night. As the clocks told them it was morning the people emerged from their homes to access the damage. Although it was still snowing the wind had subsided. The sound of chainsaws and snow blowers hummed as the clean up began.

The creature remained buried in a blanket of snow as the insects ravaged its body. They had made their way to its brain, driving it mad. Foam formed in its mouth and its eyes rolled back in its head. It lay in a heap where it had been dragged waiting for death.

As the days went by the power had been restored, temperatures rose enough for the children to play in the snow. A boy and his dog went to explore the woods, forbidden to do so by his parent, he went anyway. He and his dog ran through the woods, he threw sticks for his dog to fetch and threw rocks at the frozen creek trying to crack the ice. When his dog didn’t return with the stick the boy went to look for him. He could hear the dog barking in the distance and he followed the sound. He found the dog wildly barking at a lump in the snow. Curious, the boy got closer. He saw movement. The dog wouldn’t stop. As if he was warning the boy. The boy ignored the dog. He moved closer. Close enough to reach out. He began to brush away the snow. His hand came back red with blood. Wide eyed, the boy began to move away. But before he could, the creature with all the strength he had left lashed out at the boy and bit his hand. The creature’s misery ended there and the boys had just begun.

__________________________________

Slithering into uncharted territory

2012-01-10T11:31:00.005-05:00

From the confines of the saturated planet the earthworms surfaced, freeing themselves from their underground world. Taking a risk to be on land only to be stranded on the wet pavement. They waited there, squirming between the mailbox and me.

The rain had abated to only a fine mist, under the cover of my overwrought umbrella, I made my escape from the building that holds me hostage Monday through Friday.

The slight incline of the parking lots blacktop to the mailbox seemed to be moving. The rain made it look like a sheet of glass, adding the worms gave it the appearance of the very beginnings of a horror movie and I, walking into the unknown, was about to become the first victim.

Someone with a vivid imagination could say the ground came alive on that rainy day. The clever worms had plans to take over the world one receptionist at a time. Turn around you fool, turn and run before the worms crawl up your legs and burrow into your skin. Yes, that thought did come to mind as I tiptoed through the gazillion worms.

While I did not want worm goop on my shoes, I also didn’t want to upset them. But most of all I didn’t want to hinder the earthworm’s progress. They had exposed themselves to the dangers of the world. The sun was bound to come out eventually, if they didn’t make it back to their muddy existence they would surely shrivel up and die, that is if a hungry bird didn’t swoop down on them first, because to a bird they were merely breakfast.

I admired the worm’s tenacity. They were breaking away from the normalcy of their lives and take a giant leap into the unknown. Some of them were going to fail in their venture, many obstacles awaited them. Yet there they were out of their comfort zone and slithering into uncharted territory.

__________________________________

This was one of my class assignments from early summer last year.

Light One Candle

2011-12-12T12:18:00.004-05:00

This is my second attempt for the monthly blog chain over at Absolute Write. A fictional Hanukkah story. Blogger has been driving me crazy with the paragraph spacing. I have to check my settings, but that is why there is so much space in between paragraphs.

This month's prompt:
Home for the Holidays (not associated with the real Holiday).

This one is broad: write about a holiday memory. It can be fiction or non-fiction, and the choice of holiday is yours (fictional holidays are okay too). Perhaps you can invent an annoying relative. Maybe you knew someone who got an actual lump of coal in their stocking. Or there's always the tale of Nilatir, Sword-Hero of Evinrude, and the Feast of Sam'x.

Light One Candle

“So, you drink the Arcaffe coffee now?”

“I like the Arcaffe coffee. What is wrong with the Arcaffe coffee?”

The playful banter between Alice and Jacob had been off and on most of the afternoon.

“The coffee at McDonalds is a good coffee,” Alice argued, “I don’t understand why you have to have the fancy Arcaffe coffee, it’s so expensive.”

“Alice, enough with the coffee.” Joseph, Alice’s husband, saved Jacob from is wife’s immutable nagging. “If Jacob wants expensive coffee, he should drink expensive coffee.”

Aunt Rose sat at the end of one long, makeshift table. If there would be a prize for the oldest person in the food court she would be in the running to win. To look at her you would have to wonder where her glasses were, her eyes looked out of focus and watery. She wore a white blouse with muted beige, yellow and brown stripes. She pretended to listen to Joseph, Alice and Jacob, but she was lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t care about coffee, no one did for that matter, it was a way to pass the time, 1:00 p.m. was fast approaching.

The small tables were pushed together to accommodate most of the group that were in their advanced years. A younger couple, Sara and Eric, were there talking to Albert. They weren’t talking about coffee, it was something more serious and they were keeping it to themselves. Someone that didn’t know Albert would more than likely stare at his left forearm. Although it wasn’t polite to stare, one couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Is that what I think it is?’

“We have to go now Albert, good conversation.” Eric and Sara got up to leave.

“You have to leave now?

”It’s getting to be that time.”

”Yes, yes, go already.” And he waved them off with his left hand, giving people another glance.

“Shalom everyone, we shall see you soon.” And the young couple was gone.

This center of the food court seemed to become a meeting place, for the old and the young. The older would pull up a chair and stay.

“Robert, you are late.” Alice pointed out. “What is that stick you have?”

“It’s my new cane, you like?”

“It looks like a stick from my back yard.”

The cane was very fashionable and you could tell Robert was proud of it. It had twists and knots, like the branch of a tree and was lacquered to fine polish.

“I will get coffee.” He says.

“What kind of coffee? Jacob …….”

“Alice, this is a peaceful day and you will have it ruined by coffee?”

“I will go with you Robert.” And Albert stood up to help his friend.

The younger friends and family would stop by and give Aunt Rose a kiss, ask her how she was and she would politely answer, but said very little. They exchanged pleasantries with others in the center of the food court and then would be on their way after checking their watches.

Albert and Robert came back with coffee, from McDonalds, and passed the piping hot liquid around. Everyone stopped to close their eyes and let their noses come alive with the aroma of fresh brewed coffee.

That is when they heard the first notes of the music in the food court. You could hear mumblings from the surrounding tables,

“Is it a Flash Mob?”

“Record it, I think it’s a flash mob.”

Excitement grew in the air and the people became very still. Cameras and cell phones popped out. Then the young people that had stopped by to pay their respects to their elders began to sing,

Light one candle for the Maccabee children
With thanks their light didn't die;
Light one candle for the pain they endured
When their right to exist was denied;

“Light One Candle.” People exclaimed.

Light one candle for the terrible sacrifice
Justice and freedom demand;
And light one candle for the wisdom to know
That the peacemaker's time is at hand!

Although the song is fairly new, it’s meant to remind the young and old the importance of Hanukkah. Aunt Rose beamed with joy as she witnessed the young and the old come together. She lifted herself out of her chair with the help of her walker, stood proudly and began to sing,

Don't let the light go out,
It's lasted for so many years!

Don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears!

Something Wicked This Way Come

2011-11-30T12:14:00.002-05:00

Looking into the early afternoon sky I couldn’t help but feel a sense of urgency. Up above me in the space that once held the warm, bright sun gave way to an ominous darkness that enveloped my little world.

With several errands on my list yesterday I was distracted by the colors of impending doom. Black and gray with midnight blue mingled together and spread across the horizon. They slowly crept across the skyline as if they were trying to sneak up on us. The colors rolled together forming threatening tufts of clouds.

Each time I left the safety of my heated car the air outside felt colder. The wind swirled around me and the damnable clouds started to break apart bringing frigid raindrops to the earth.

This was it, it was rolling into our lives. Whether we wanted to see it or not, it would stay with us, like an annoying out of town relative overstaying their welcome. Winter has arrived.

Back Cover Blurb

2011-11-18T14:30:00.007-05:00

Assignment from Absolute Write Blog Chain:
Write up a back cover blurb for a book you have written or would like to write. It should be short, sweet, yet give a sense of people and events without totally spoiling the ending. NaNoWriMo participation is not required, and the blurb may be for fiction or nonfiction as you see fit.

Being a new member on the Absolute Forum I couldn't help but gravitate to the blogging threads, it's where I'm most comfortable. But I'm jumping out of my comfort zone and unleashing my first book. I have entertained the idea of writing a book but haven't shared the idea with too many people. Unfortunately the idea in my head, the one that must come out, requires quite a bit of research. Don't look for this book to be done any time soon.
Below is my blurb and also a list of the the other participants in the blog chain:

_____________________________________

Niles O’Brien sat in the back of the prison van locked in his seat and he waited. For almost two years Niles had waited and continued to believe he would be set free. He was innocent after all and the military would see that, he was a good soldier and this was all a mistake. He would soon be out of maximum security, have his name cleared and be back with his team. Holding on to this hope got him through each intolerable day.

The vans door opened and another man was half dragged in, sat down and locked in place across from Niles. His new companions head was down, his chin rested on his chest and blood trickled down the lip and nose of his face and formed a small puddle on the vans floor.

Niles studied the silent man for a half a minute before he broke the silence. He cocked his head to the side.

“Looks like you put up quite a fight. Did you think you had any chance of getting away?”

After he said it he knew he sounded like a smart ass and from the menacing look he received as the man across from him slowly rose his head and made eye contact with Niles, it kind of confirmed the question came out wrong. So much for first impressions, Niles quickly realized his people skills were sorely lacking during his time of incarceration.

The van began to move, breaking the awkward moment of their first meeting. Their stare continued though and each saw the overwhelming, uneasy feeling that rested in the other’s eyes. They did not know where they were going, nor would they want to.

What Niles and the beaten, bloodied man across from him didn’t know was that they had been targeted for a top-secret military mission from which there was no return. Because of the sacrifices made for this assignment, no one would want to volunteer. No, the time Niles spent in Leavenworth was the preliminary adjustment to his new life. A new life so deeply undercover that he would be dead to the world he knew, his family, friends and his brothers in arms.

Join Niles O’Brien as he struggles with lines he believes have been crossed in the world of advanced scientific discoveries. As he is forced into objectionable partnerships and learns more than he wants to of the threat to our world, the world he has been unwillingly recruited to save.

In transition

2011-11-16T12:53:00.002-05:00

This blog is in a transitional phase. From entertainment to a writer's blog. It's been stagnate long enough. I plan to post some of my other writing here, serious stuff that doesn't fit on Farvel Cargo the humor blog. If any of you writers want to be added to my blog roll let me know.
I've joined a writers forum called Absolute Write and plan to use this blog for writing prompts and their blog chain prompts. I'm excited. I still watch too much TV but haven't the time to blog about it. I have to go work on my header now.

Up coming post: A Book Blurb - I have to write a blurb for a book that I have wrote, I am writing or want to write, then post it here. I have just started on a book and I will be posting the blurb when it's my turn. I'm really nervous. Mommy.......

Once Upon A Time

2011-11-10T10:20:00.005-05:00

Remember back when you were a little kid, before you could read? I know it's difficult but try to remember those stories our parents read to us. That's what ABC's latest Fall Show, Once Upon A Time is doing to me. It's making me search the dusty, cobwebbed corners of my brain, trying to remember who the hell is Rumplestiltskin. I recall the name but can't remember his part in my childhood stories.

I remember reading to my kids before they could read right before bed. You want them to go to sleep, you're tired, so you skip a few pages. It happens, everyone does it. Our parents must have done it because I can't remember most of this stuff going on in this show. I've been googling Story Book Stories since I decided to invest an hour of my week every Sunday.

My theory is our parents skipped some pages to get us to go to bed quicker and to save us the nightmares from these conniving, heart stealing, black market baby racketeers. Along came Political Correctness and the pages were taken out. So now that we are old enough to handle the cruel world that is Snow Whites, there is no documentation to back it up, it's been erased.
We can march into our parents house and demand to know the whole story on this Rumplestiltskin or we can watch Once Upon A Time on Sunday nights. Because these people aren't afraid of the truth, they are filling in the blanks and I'm loving this show. I didn't think it would suck me in the way it has, the fact that it's executive producer and creator Edward Kitsis is a former producer of LOST might have something to do with it. If you are aware of the LOST connection then you can't help but see the numbers everywhere and it sends chills up my spine. "Oh my God the evil mayor's address is 108!"

Ladies and Gentlemen was that boring or what?

2011-05-30T12:27:00.001-04:00

I guess I should post one last review of Dancing With The Stars lack luster final. I'm really not sure if anyone is reading this but I'll do it anyway.
Here's the thing, I think Kirstie has a bigger fan base than Hines Ward but I couldn't vote for after seeing that God awful cartwheel that had no place in a Dancing With The Stars Final and I don't think I was alone on this, just look for yourself:

So I didn't vote for her. And I don't think I'm alone when I say, again, I can't stand Mark Ballas. I'm sad for Maks not getting his Mirror Ball Trophy but he really needs to step it up with his final freestyle dances. Get flashy like a Broadway Show, their costumes didn't even have any sequence on them. Kirstie looked like a monk at first and then she took her brown robe off, they looked they were dressed for rehearsal. Very disappointing. Maks just never delivers on the last dance, the dance that counts. You'd think he'd have learned by now.

A new season starts in September and of course I'll be watching. This season had a nice bunch of stars with no ringer, but it was still apparent who the judges wanted in the finals. I've learned to just be entertained by the dancing and ignore the judges. It's just a stupid Mirror Ball Trophy.

Hopefully I can continue to post on this blog through the summer. I'm going to try to catch the reruns of Raising Hope, I saw a few episodes of it and it's really funny.

I have 2 blogs, www.skirt.com that I blog for and I'm trying to get published. But I'd rather be writing than almost anything.

Ladies and Gentlemen this is getting dangerous!

2011-05-17T17:35:00.004-04:00

I'm going to post the video of that Pittsburgh Steeler trying to break Kim Johnson's neck, very scary and hard to watch. They will probably win the Giant Mirror Ball Trophy now. I would like to see Kim win but not a Pittsburgh Steeler. If he wasn't on that damn team I would vote for them. I'm trying to decide if their perfect scores were sympathy 10's or if they deserved them, but I'm so anti-Pittsburgh Steeler I just can't make the call.

Here is the video:

There is no way they will be going home tonight. I think Ralph is done, that's my prediction. I really want to see Mark go. Go, go, go. Before I hit you in the face. I'm sure he will be around for the finals, damn. Kirstie and Maks have a huge fan base and should come in third.

So the Pittsburgh Steeler gets the Giant Mirror Ball Trophy, cute little Disney Star Chelsea Kane who got stuck with "what the hell is he on?" Mark, he yelled at her in rehearsal, will be second. Pretty sure Kirstie third and the Karate Kid goes home tonight. I could be wrong, if I am, I'll be surprised.

Now let's get to the real fun last night. How many people over the age of, let's say 10, need to have the concept of a coin toss explained to them? Really Brooke Burke, how many?

Is there a female equivalent of Tom Bergeron out there? I think not. But is there someone just a little bit smarter than Brooke, yes. Dancing With The Stars, please go find her.
And then Bruno got bleeped. I think he went too far, this is a family show Bruno! You can tell Karina was offended and pissed.

I usually don't watch much of the "Somebodies going home tonight" Tuesday episode, actually just the last 5 minutes. I especially won't be watching tonight because Cheryl and Nick Lachey, I don't even care if I spelled his last name right, are dancing their stupid Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy dance again, Gah!

Ladies and Gentlemen We're Down to 5

2011-05-10T15:10:00.004-04:00

I'm just not going to vote anymore. I'm happy with this final 5 but can not cast another vote. At this moment I don't care who wins the Giant Mirror Ball, they are all just about even, I'm okay with the chips falling as they may.
There is no way I can vote for a Pittsburgh Steeler. I was raised to hate them, I am a Cleveland fan. I know, one of the hardest things in the world to do is be a Cleveland Browns fan but I'm stuck with this legacy. I blame my ancestors for migrating to Northeast Ohio and staying here. Thereby sealing my fate, destine to cheer on losing teams for all eternity.
I'm not going to vote for the over dancing Mark, cause I hate him, as I've said before, sorry Chelsea.
How can I justify voting for someone rolling on the floor in pain? Ralph's day are numbered and I'm not going to be part of the crowd that feels sorry for him and votes for him to stay in the stupid competition and be a part of the reason he becomes crippled. Can't do that to the Karate Kid, who for some reason has decided to finally do something with his hair and use guy-liner the last 2 dances.
Um, when I saw Kirstie bounce down the stairs in practice I decided as much as I love to watch Maks, I have YouTube. Let's put them both out of their misery. Something didn't sit right with me after watching them last night, something changed in their relationship/partnership. Maybe Kirstie hit her head, I don't know but that's all the speculating I'm going to do.
And then I really had to sit and think who is the 5th dancer and celebrity? Oh that Romeo kid and whatshername. I wouldn't mind if they won it all just to piss off Mark. Muh ha ha.

What the hell is he doing?

2011-05-03T18:51:00.003-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen this is Dancing With the Stars. We only have 6 couples left and if I had to say, if I had to be forced to say who I thought would be the winner of the Big Giant Mirror Ball Trophy it would probably be Hines Ward. Blah, the Pittsburgh Steeler. I can't see Kendra winning, she has to be alienating more and more fans each week. Men can fart on TV, women can't. That's the rules, I don't make them up but I adhere to them. Who is voting for her?

Kirstie is running out of steam. With two dances the rest of the way I just don't think Maks has the strength to drag her around the dance floor much longer. But she does look good. I just watched their first dance on YouTube and she's visibly thinner. But she is 60.

I feel bad for Chelsea Kane, she has Mark as a partner and his an idiot. He over dances her and doesn't need to, she's good. I don't want him and his attitude to win, sorry Chelsea.

Romeo didn't do very well with his scores last night and I think either he or Kendra will go home tonight. And then we have Ralph who's on again, off again. On for the ballroom dances and off for the Latin dances. If he gets his hips moving he could win but I doubt it.

So tell me Mark Ballas, what is going on here after your got your scores and were not happy with them? What are you doing there with your hand?

Fake boobs, cape mishaps and banana hammocks, ladies and gentlemen this is Dancing With The Stars

2011-04-26T08:17:00.003-04:00

Guilty pleasures night, yikes:

Okay so Louis wants Kendra to shake everything that God gave her and she said God didn't give her these boobs. I hear ya Kendra, he didn't give me much either. But I stuck with what he gave me because, well I'm not a stripper/Playboy Bunny/pole dancing whore. Kendra shook. All three judges were turned on, even Bruno and I thought he was gay. Kendra is not going to shake the whole stripper/Playboy Bunny/pole dancing whore thing when Bruno wants to do it on the judges table with her and threw money at her. I thought he was gay. Thank you Bruno for keeping elegance in the ballroom on this family show. Kendra is offended when Carrie Ann tells her she's afraid of elegance but not when Bruno wants to have sex with her on live television.

The premise behind Guilty Pleasures Night is that the songs that are picked are songs we like but are embarrassed to tell anyone. So I got to hear MmmBop by Hanson. And sung by Hanson all grown up. No wonder I'm in such a good mood today, the song has been stuck in my head since last night. I think I'll get it as a ringtone.

Ralph, what the hell? He looked 10 years younger last night. What did they do to him? It's got to be spray tan or a face lift. He was in this ridiculous costume with a humongous cape and Karina had a cape dress thing. They were flapping those capes around like they were trying to take flight and inevitably Karina tripped on Ralph's cape and fell. She was explaining what happened but our stellar interviewer, Brooke, cut her off, because she sucks at her job. So Karina being Maks' ex fell on the dance floor too .... hmmmm. I don't know if those two get along but maybe she had a little smirk when Maks fell and this is karma paying her back. I guess we'll see, if Ralph loses his shoe next week.
Tom Bergeron, God's wonderful gift to Live Television, set up an Elton John video for us and pointed out that one of the dancers to I'm Still Standing was none other than Bruno. Bruno on the beach in a banana hammock. Yeah, he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Dear God, Maks I've missed you!

2011-04-19T20:36:00.002-04:00

I almost forgot the password to this blog. I've been taking writing classes but can not remain silent any longer. I must log my thoughts of my beloved "Ladies and Gentlemen this is Dancing With The Stars!" I put last season behind me and have moved on, I am back to being a huge fan. After seeing Maks rip his shirt off, who wouldn't? Was he dancing with someone? Probably Kirstie Alley but I didn't see her during that dance, he had leather pants on, Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I've watched it about 17 times.

I want Kendra to go home tonight. Why? Because after watching all of the 11 and half seasons, I have never heard a woman on the show blame a bad dance on her period. Gah! Graciously go home Kendra. In case the definition of gracious escapes you, here you go: pleasantly kind and courteous. Go, go, go.

Petra should be limited to 2 sentences at a time or be interviewed by somebody competent, like not Brooke. Please let this be Brooke Burkes last season.

Hines Ward, he's doing very well but he's a Pittsburgh Steeler and I want him to fail miserably, then I'll start waving a towel around. I don't know who that cute little Chelsea is but she's with Mark and I hate him. Who else is left? Oh the Karate Kid, Ralph, I like him. He's really good with the ballroom dances but he has no hip action. Bruno wants to see sex for those Latin dances. You hear me, sex! Then we have Master Do Wop Diddy Wop Wop's son Romeo and he's doing a 100% better job than his father, which let's face it, not difficult since no one has ever received 2's before in the entire history of the show, ever. And we have Chris Jericho left, I didn't like him at first but he's starting to grow on me and the judges are pleasantly surprise.

So let's see if I can keep up with this blog, Farvel Cargo, http://www.skirt.com/ which I'm suppose to be blogging for and school. What a drag having to go to work everyday.

My new favorite TV show Modern Family because Dancing With The Stars is dead to me this season

2010-11-21T14:22:00.004-05:00

Modern Family is my new favorite show. It won't be reviewed weekly because the shows I pick to review, I usually make fun of, reality TV comes to mind. So I'll probably wait for the new season of Survivor to start, because the spoilers I hear coming from the Survivor spoiler camp are going to be too good to pass up, we're talking a jump the shark event of biblical proportion. I'm not sure when the next season of Survivor starts as the season now is only half way through.

There will be a lot of reruns starting during the blessed holiday season so I will try to keep you amused with my quick wit. We will go into indepth discussions on commercials and TV clips like this one from the latest episode of Modern Family, my new favorite TV show.

I can't believe I just wrote that

2010-11-19T18:17:00.004-05:00

I've made up my mind. I've thought about this all week. Dancing With The Stars is my very best source of mindless entertainment. I can put the show on and be wildly entertained, forget the world around me; work, the global warming scam, the threat of the U.S. economy coming to a crashing halt, the Iranians nuking us and what to wear to the Christmas party.

Somehow, somewhere, sometime, somebody ruined my favorite show. It's obvious the judges are bias and trying to steer the show into predetermined direction. I understand they are judges but they don't have to be rude, Bruno. I'm tired of the same guy, Derek, making it to the finals every season. I can't stand Lacey, she's full of herself and Mark is almost as annoying as Derek. I watch the show because the dancers have become my stars. I barely know who these stars are half the time they are introduced season after season.

This season burst my Dancing With The Stars bubble. So 'Show' get it together next season. I know you've lost fans this season, I read the message boards. Think about this, really think, what "star" is going to want to be on Dancing With The Stars after this season? What "star" is going to want to devote months of busting their asses, risking injury to be ridiculed and given the shaft for ratings? Seriously, they have better ways of jump starting their careers that are a lot easier. They can admit a drug problem and go into rehab, write a book about their broken childhood, drive drunk, relapse and go back into rehab.

Please bring back the show I use to love'

What did I make my mind up about? I won't be watching the season finale. And I can't believe I just wrote that.

The worse final three in Dancing With The Stars history

2010-11-16T22:03:00.002-05:00

I took notes and sat through this whole damn show to see the worse final three dancers assembled ever. I knew it was going to happen but I watched anyway. Maybe tomorrow I'll write the review, tonight I'm to cynical to write it. I took this season way to seriously, it's just a stupid reality show.

It's the Dancing With The Stars Sob Story Episode

2010-11-15T21:46:00.002-05:00

It appears Maks and Carrie Anne have kissed and made up or were told to shut up. The Latin dances are first tonight on Dancing With The Stars and the stars have to dance a little solo during this first dance. Brandy and Maks received all 9's. Which was fair, their dance didn't seem to have that wow factor. Come on Maks step it up, it's the semi-finals and you've never won the giant mirror ball trophy. I'm disappointed, especially since Diva and Derek got a perfect score of 30. I'll have to admit, it was a pretty good Cha-Cha and we saw no crying or limping so far. What angle is she going to play this week?

I'm totally expecting Bristol to crack under pressure and suck, but look at her go, she's so cute. All 9's? Tied with my Maks? I'm nervous. The chubby couple is next, jeez it's got to be my new TV. Everyone looks heavier. It's HD, LED wide screen something, it's bothering me more than a little bit.

Okay, now we're getting ready for the ballroom dances but first before every dance we get to see an up close and personal package of "who's gone through the most drama in their life" nonsense. Cry me a river. They are playing with our emotions and toying with us. Can't they just dance? Kyle has absolutely no drama to dwell on, try as he might he can't compete with being accused of murder, being called an unwed slut or having a broken neck. They showed us some run down apartment buildings that he probably didn't live in.

Brandy and Diva both received perfect scores, Bristol is in last place.....again.

I think the judges have anointed Diva the chosen one and I'm scared for Maks. Bristol doesn't belong in the finals but I think she'll be there. I'm thinking Brandy or Kyle will go and that's a shame.

Dance Center, It's Time For Dance Center!

2010-11-09T22:03:00.005-05:00

Let me just start off by saying the husband is watching Dancing With The Stars Results Show with me tonight. My notes are a mess. The husband would rather stick a fork in his eye than watch Dancing With The Stars. But both of us are to tired to get off the couch. He's decided to sit through "an hour of torture". I think he just misses me. But I wish he'd shut up, he's a major distraction.

Lacey and Kyle got the encore dance, meh, it's the instant dance, oh and they are safe, gah!

Kenny Maine, Jerry Rice and Len are the highlight of the results shows, it's the only one I look forward to. Maybe Kenny Maine can take Brooke Burkes place. Hey, I think I'm on to something here. Okay there are two guest singers and I don't know their names. "What did they just call him?'" I asked the husband. "Huh?"

OMG, do you see those cute kids? Two little mini dancers couples and one mini pianist, average age maybe 12ish. I think one of these little couples was on America's Got Talent, I'm sure of it.

Not only did the husband distract me while Dancing With The Stars was on, but now he's decided to sing while I write. There is definately something wrong with him tonight.

Okay Lacey and Kyle are safe and so are Diva and Derek. Then to the amazement of the entire universe Bristol is proclaimed safe. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Maks and Brandy are in jeopardy along with Kurt and Anna. If Maks is gone this week I will forever hate Carrie Anne Inaba, forever. She tries to get the last word in while Maks is standing under the red light waiting his fate, by telling him she has always respected the Pro dancers. Right, just some more than others.

Kurt, the charming one is going home, I said I would be sad but thank God it's him and not Maks.

"You think he's hot?"

"Dear God yes, he's a babe."

I tell him this only because he once told me if Meg Ryan ever came knocking on our door he'd kick me to the curb.

Maks and Carrie Anne Smack Down

2010-11-09T17:42:00.002-05:00

This is the argument I spoke of in my last post between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Carrie Anne Inaba. It was great. Carrie Anne is such a Jennifer Grey lover and it shows in her judging. Maks doesn't take any crap and said, "Give us a 7 then." Almost daring her. She gave them a 9 and I can guarantee if they stay in it after tonight's elimination show Maks and Brandy won't be receiving any 10's from Carrie Anne anytime soon.

Dancing With The Stars Insta Dancing and all that messing about

2010-11-08T21:39:00.006-05:00

Honest to God I can't tell if Kyle and Lacey are dancing well because I can't stop looking at Lacey's mess of a dress. What the hell's going on with it? It's indescribable. First of all it makes her look 67 pounds heavier. They are now the chubby couple. Seriously, he hasn't lost any weight and she looks like she's gained, well 67 pounds. Maybe it's my new TV.

Diva Grey is next and it appears we are going to hear about how her body is falling apart. Really? Wouldn't it be great if people stopped voting for her and put her out of her misery? Dare to dream. OMG, enough already, a doctor visits during practice and tells Diva that her knee is ripping apart. Her father, Joel Grey, huh, he's still alive, stops by practice and tells her the show must go on. And she tells us she must dance for her daughter. She's covering all the bases. Florence Henderson tried that Jennifer. Of course the judges love her and we get to see a replay of rehearsal where she miserably limps off the dance floor. Are we watching a woman fall apart on live television or an Oscar winning performance?

Kurt and Anna, he's so charming. He's not going to win and knows it. I've decided I like him and will be sad when he leaves.

While these dances are going on the couples that have already danced are practicing for their instant dance. The next stupid twist this season. They don't get their music until after their last dance and have 20 minutes to put the dance together, they just know what kind of dance. All the makings of a train wreck.

Kurt and Anna get all 8's, third place so far. But Bristol still has to dance. She's getting her freak on and tied with Kurt. Mark and Bristol make it back to be painfully interviewed by Brooke Burke. They pick their music and, this is awesome, walk away from Brooke's outstretched arm with the microphone she holds onto for dear life, just dangling in mid air. And she continues to smile.

Ah Maks, oh and Brandi too. They dance an awesome waltz and the judges love them. Almost a perfect score, 29, they are in the lead.

So now we have the instant dance and I don't know if I'm going to like all this messing about. But as it turns out they're really good. Good enough that Derek and Diva get a perfect score and amazingly Diva is jumping up and down on the ripped up knee, she's such a trooper.

Kurt and Bristol give a great effort but they get the lowest scores of the night. Maks and Brandi do the Cha Cha, but start off sitting on the steps and this sends a bug up Carrie Anne's butt. She and Maks go at it talking at the same time so I don't know what either of them said but I think Maks won. He got the last word in back during the Brooke Burke interview, after they got their score which tied them with Diva and Derek.

I'm looking forward to Dance Center tomorrow and hopefully the Macy's dancing people will stay home.

Dancing With The Stars and Election Coverage Done Good

2010-11-02T20:56:00.003-04:00

An hour and a half? Dancing With The Stars is stretching out the results show for an hour and a half? Oh I see, how considerate. ABC is allowing for election coverage. Maks and Brandy are safe! Bristol and Mark are in jeopardy. I can not think of one person who would be surprised by that.

The Macy's Stars of Dance are killing sometime. Am I the only one that finds them a total bore? We got to see Marie Osmond faint again. That just never gets old, ha. She won most Dramatic Award. Dancing With The Stars is giving out awards. Huh.

Election Coverage

Taylor Swift, is she suppose to be good?

Another award, Best Worst Dancer. There have been a lot of stars that have sucked over the years, I don't know how they narrowed it down. My vote would have been for Master Do Woop Diddle (he doesn't deserve a link) he annoyed thhe hell out of me. Kenny Maine won it though, I love him and his humor.

Brooke is interviewing badly again. Please let this be her last season. Diva Grey is crying some more and we get to see more crying next week because she's safe. Rick Fox is in jeopardy, he's a stiff, he should be in jeopardy.

Can I just break off from my review to let you know that I have been exiled to the bedroom to watch Dancing With The Stars on the small TV. The husband is watching constant election coverage and claimed the new TV. The dog, who is also a Dancing With The Stars fan, is watching with me. Well she's trying to, she must have had a rough day. I let her know when they proclaim safety and jeopardy, she doesn't have time for the rest of this nonsense.

Rod Stewart is singing an old song, not one of his old songs, just an old song. Is he almost done?

Let's watch some crazy judge's moments.

Election coverage. What kind of crazy ass moron do you have to be to vote for Dennis Kucinich? ABC is handling one of TV's top rated shows and election coverage very well, I'm impressed.

Kyle is in jeopardy. Look, the bottom three couples in jeopardy are from the "Team Kristi" group dance.

So how tall is Taylor Swift? Tom Bergeron is standing next to her and he looks short. Maybe he's just short. But this is the first time I've noticed. Taylor Swift is tall.

The dog is totally out, I'm beginning to think she doesn't care who gets eliminated.

Holy Crap, Bristol's safe, this is going to piss off a lot of people. I can't wait to get on the message boards tomorrow. Oh boy, Carrie Ann Inaba is going to need a sedative, Rick Fox has been eliminated, she has it bad for Rick. I'm surprised, I thought Bristol or Kyle would go.

Until next week, the dog and I are tired.

The 200th Episode Frigging Extravaganza

2010-11-01T21:28:00.002-04:00

Dancing With The Stars Review:

Holy Crap! We're starting at the end. For years I have watched Derek Hough nervously tap, tap, tap, tap his dancing partners shoulder during the judging and interviews to the point that I want to smack him, hard. Tonight Diva Grey snapped, she smacked his hand away and said. "STOP IT!" Finally.

You'd think someone would have said something by now. You'd think he would have seen it on a re-cap. It isn't like they don't ever replay anything.

There were team dances tonight with team captains, because it was a extravaganza you know. There were stars from all the previous seasons. Star judges, who thought very highly of themselves. All the individual dances were remakes of popular dances. The hell? Every week it's a different theme or twist. The show is great, stop fixing what isn't broken.

I didn't take notes during the star studded extravanganza for several reasons. We got a new TV and for some reason we have to use two remotes, that's so 1990's. I couldn't get the right channel on and panicked.

"Boy #2! Boy #2! Fix the TV! Dancing With The Stars started."

"Huh?"

"Fix the TV. The TV! Put Dancing With The Stars on!"

"Oh." He then went on to explain what went wrong and I told him to shut up so I could watch. I have no patience when I'm sick, that's my other reason for no notes. And also the dog decided to snuggle up to me on the couch. Unconditional love baby, she don't care about no stinking blog.

Brandy and Diva are tied for first and Bristol Palin is in last place. Bristol should go home tomorrow. But she seems to have a huge fan base and that's saying a lot in Hollywood. America is speaking up finally.

Get right on out of here. Are you kidding me?

2010-10-26T20:58:00.003-04:00

The two lowest scoring couples are safe, great. Jennifer Grey is in jeopardy and she pretends to faint, please diva. You're so pissed that you need Dancing With The Stars to try to jump start your career again that you are really starting to annoy me, I love Dancing With The Stars, stop ruining it for me. I saw you on the last episode of House, you weren't that great.

Heart! Barracuda! Awesome! Yeah, they're older now but they still sort of got it.

Kyle should stop talking so much and Lacey's attitude is getting on my last nerve, I hope they go this week. Really Kyle, stop talking.

Brett Michaels, why do we keep seeing this guy everywhere? How did he all of a sudden get popular and I hate that headband. I think that hair is attached to it and he's totally bald. Someone ask him to go swimming. Apparently he and Alice Cooper and some other guy are qualified to analyze the dances because it was rock week. Alice freaking Cooper watches Dancing With The Stars? Holy Crap. I guess I have now seen everything.

Macy's Stars of Dance, meh. Bathroom break.

Kylie Minogue, yet another guest is performing. Who the hell is she? And what the hell is going on behind her? Some kind of psycho musical chair dance with creepy dancers in long speedo swimsuits. Let's just get on with it already and tell Kyle and Lacey to go home, dance their last dance. He's sandwiched between Audrina and Jennifer of course he's going home. No. WTF? He's safe?

That means somebody better than half the couples left is going home an upset. Len says it's nonsense, damn right Len. "Go home Jennifer, Go home Jennifer", I started to chant. But no, it's Audrina. I have no idea who she is but she didn't deserve to go home yet, Tony's pissed.

It's time to separate the men from the boys voters!

I'm so stoked, it's rock week!

2010-10-25T20:41:00.006-04:00

But first, let's re-cap. And just to mix up the re-capping a little bit, Dancing With The Stars is going to show us the top ten all time favorite dances throughout the years that I guess we were suppose to vote for, nobody told me about it.

Rock week will have to wait because it's a 2 hour show and it's not like we can't, at any given time of the day, look up our favorite dances on YouTube or anything. But I'll venture down Memory Lane with everyone else, what the hell. Just don't tell me that Drew Lachey's dance with Cheryl Burke, Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy is in the top ten. I think what might have turned me off that guy is when he filled in for Samantha when she was on maternity leave, he was almost as bad as Brooke. And I really hated the dance.

"Oh, his dance is number 1? Huh." I get to watch this stupid dance again, wonderful.

Can we start rocking now? Because remember? I'm stoked.

Apparently when you're rocking it out on Dancing With The Stars, fire is involved and lots of it shooting out of stuff. Cool.

I've decided to systematically knock off the stars as I see fit. Jennifer G rey is blowing it and I think it's because she's a diva, I don't have time for diva's. Somebody give her a Snickers. The chubby kid, Kyle is dancing with Lacey Schwimmer, bleh. I think I've mentioned I don't like her. The two athletes are stiffs. Audrina Patridge has one facial expression and that's it, she can dance, but she's not selling it. Who's left? Bristol, she's slightly improving but I think she's gone as far as she can, either she or Kyle should go tomorrow or one of the stiffs. But not my Maks, he and Brandy are the top scorers again!

Hey Heart is going to perform tomorrow night, I'm stoked for Tuesday's show now.

Albert Reed on Dancing With The Stars

2010-10-23T17:47:00.001-04:00

I don't know why, but this dance has been one of my favorites on Dancing With The Stars for a long time. Albert Reed, seasons ago but it was so entertaining. I put it up on this blog every once in a while. Hope you enjoy it:

Bring It Like Bruno A Little Harder

2010-10-19T22:08:00.005-04:00

Did I call it or what? I'm frigging psychic. Brandy and my Maks got the encore dance, which had to be painful for Len because he doesn't like Maks and Mrs. Brady has danced her last dance. I'm so happy. I sat through the whole show because I'm forcing myself to focus on this blog and Dancing With The Stars is the show I picked to start reviewing again. So naturally the outcome should be the way I want it to be, because it's all about me.

The results show is hard to sit through, half of it is what we saw last night, you know, extreme re-capping. The other half is a menagerie of backstage drama, Brooke Burke's God awful interviews and now, apparently Dancing With The Stars commercials. They are kind of like the old Saturday Night Live commercials but really bad. Kind of like "who wants some more face time" commercials. Oh, Bruno would you like more face time? Great let's have you promote a fake dance video called Bring It Like Bruno A Little Harder. And let's put Mark in it without his shirt so he can show everyone he has a tattoo and Lacey should be in it because she thinks she's hotter than she really is.

Show of hands now, who threw-up a little bit in their mouth after watching that?

We got to see David Hasselhoff in one of these commercials. Thank God because who hasn't seen enough of him? I'm seriously out of the loop because I had no idea who the guest performers were, Shakira? and Jason Somebody. I don't know.

Mrs. Brady tried to make us cry when she got kicked off but we're just not buying what she's been trying to sell. And what's wrong with her mouth? It's like she's always chewing gum or her dentures don't fit right.

With her gone I feel the show has righted itself now and is back on track, we should be able to enjoy the rest of the season. The ick factor is gone.

Re-Capping the re-capping.....again

2010-10-18T20:21:00.004-04:00

About 15 minutes into Dancing With The Stars, I realized, "Hey they're re-capping..... again." Like I said before nobody does re-capping like Dancing With The Stars. It's Extreme Re-capping. And it's usually done on the kick someone off Tuesday night show, so imagine my surprise when they started re-capping tonight on the Monday show. I could have finished my dishes.

Tonight is TV show theme night, dancing to television shows songs. I was so surprised when Mrs. Brady danced to, wait for it............... The Brady Bunch Song, huh....isn't that somethin'? Who saw that coming? Who saw Greg Brady coming? Ewwwww. The Brady Bunch was a joyful, playful, wholesome part of my childhood and Florence Henderson has crushed it, stomped on it and has me ready to throw up. Please whoever is voting for her......STOP! Stop for so many reasons, like the way Corky is jerking her 76, not 74, Jesus Christ her 76 year old body around the dance floor, something is going to break. One week she's telling us she's dancing for her dear departed husband and then this week she's telling us about the huge crush Greg Brady had on her and she's not telling us if anything happened between them. Huh? Gross. Decide on what angle you want to play the audience with Mrs. Brady. I don't know about anyone else but slutty grandma's not working with me.

After the first half hour the show actually started and started well with Brandy and Max, they had the highest score of the night then Florence and Crorky danced and they seemed to have changed the course of the show some how, it just felt off the rest of the night. We might be able to blame Brooke Burke for some of it, because she really sucks and it's becoming more and more apparent as the weeks go by. You can tell in the faces of her victims/interviewees, she's clueless and is starting to make them look bad.

Lacey Schwimmer is pissing me off and Len as well, he gave Kyle and her a 5, love you Len! Knock her down a peg. She's just not as hot as she think she is.

Jennifer looked totally pissed that she didn't have the highest scores of the night. The rest of the way is going to be interesting. Last season we all knew who would win, this season it seems to be up for grabs.

More re-capping tomorrow night, oh joy. I think Brandy and Max will get the encore dance and that will piss Jennifer off so it might be worth watching.

Let's kick someone off Dancing With The Stars

2010-10-12T21:36:00.004-04:00

First of all, thank you Len for picking Jennifer Grey for the encore performance and not Mrs. Brady, Dear God thank you. All Dancing With The Stars fans know that this show, they are the re-cap masters. They re-cap re-caps, you can't miss anything if you try.
The "fill in the rest of the hour" entertainment, you know, when they aren't re-capping, were the Goo Goo Dolls, who weren't bad, but I only knew one of their songs. I'm seriously out of the loop band wise because Florence and The Machine performed. Who the hell is she? Was it just me or did she sound awful? I don't think it was just me.

And am I the only one that hears Macy's Stars of Dance to perform after the break, that goes to take their contacts out, make coffee for the morning, pick out what to where to work the next morning and get my jammies on? Is that just me too or are they a total bore to you too? I sat through it tonight because I'm trying to dedicate myself to my entertainment blog, throw myself into my art and stuff.

The Situation got kicked off, like I predicted and I'm really not going to miss him. But maybe he should have done his boobs move earlier in the show, he might have received more votes. Mrs. Brady lives to dance another week, risking a broken hip and my Maks is still up in the top three. Squeee!

Mrs. Brady and Corky do the Rumba

2010-10-11T22:16:00.004-04:00

And half of America went blind. Seriously, my eyes hurt and I'm quite certain by morning I'll have lost use of them. Why? Because I just saw Mrs., 74 year old, Brady straddle Corky on the dance floor.

59 minutes into Dancing With The Stars I became frightened. The dances being performed tonight were the Argentine Tango and the Rumba. "What if Mrs. Brady is doing the Rumba?" I asked myself. And then I asked myself again, "What if Mrs. Brady is doing the Rumba?" I didn't pay attention to her costume in the opening ceremony. I wandered around my living room, paced, rang my hands together and broke out into a cold sweat. "What if Mrs. Brady is doing the Rumba?" 15 minutes later my fears were confirmed, Mrs. Brady is doing the Rumba.

Gah!

They showed us Corky and Mrs. Brady's "warm up package" you know the footage of them rehearsing. Rehearsing what would be appropriate and not appropriate, they even brought their kids in to supervise. That's when we got to see Mrs. Brady grab Corky's butt.

Oh God.

They are actually coming back from commercial to do the Rumba and I watched it. Kind of like you would watch a train wreck, I had one eye closed, so maybe that one will be save, I don't know.

I can't even remember their scores, they were low and the judges were almost speechless, but they weren't the lowest. I don't expect her to go home tomorrow. Probably "The Situation" whoever he is, will go. All he did was throw Katerina around and catch her.

I don't care if Mrs. Brady sticks around, she's already ruined part of my childhood, I just hope I don't witness her break a hip.

We're cranking it up again and I'm jumping up on my soapbox too

2010-10-07T20:30:00.008-04:00

I want to start up this blog again, but I'm not going to be unrealistic. I'm starting with........

Ladies and Gentlemen.........this is Dancing With The Stars. I get all tingly when the band starts jamming the opening theme song and Tom Bergeron, who was put on this earth solely to host the hell out of Dancing With The Stars, and Brooke Burke, who ummm I don't know what she doing but it isn't hosting, start to announce the "stars" and their more popular than them dancing pro's. I just can't help sitting on my couch with a big grin on my face.
Because Dancing With The Stars has been entertaining me for years. For three hours a week I can sit and block out my job, the bills, the news, the politicians and special interest groups issues. There I said it.

Entertain us you washed up, no named, trying to restart your careers "stars". Keep your agenda's to yourselves, America wants some down time. The minute you start spouting off about your causes, you get voted off, Margaret Cho. Just dance okay. We have news radio, news TV, newspapers, Oprah, the View, the Academy Awards coming at us with opinions, telling us how they think we should think. Leave Dancing With The Stars alone and let us enjoy three hours of TV a week without being made to feel guilty.

What Just Happened There on That Dance Floor?

2009-04-14T16:21:00.004-04:00

There was a collective 5 second pause after Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks danced their Rumba last night on Dancing With The Stars, jaws dropped to the ground and young children learned about the birds and the bees. And then the applause kicked in.
"Wow! What just happened there on that dance floor?"
"That's the Rumba, huh?"
"I thought the Rumba was about sexual tension."
"There wasn't any tension there, I think they did it."

And let me tell you, Len was pissed. 'Some of that belongs in the bedroom', he says, 'not on the dance floor, it was raunchy.' And you have to imagine that in a proper English accent - priceless.

So Where's Rose and Bernard?

2009-04-03T19:03:00.004-04:00

Seriously, what happened to everyone's favorite couple on LOST? Rose and Bernard were last seen running through the jungle avoiding flaming arrows, while flashing back and forth in time. I haven't seen them in Dharmaville, Jack, Kate and Hurley haven't asked about them. Are we to assume they are successfully avoiding the "Others" in the jungle on their own with a bunch of extras that have no lines?
I know it's TV, but people ask questions in real life, but on LOST no one is inquisitive or they are happy with a open ended, off the cuff answer to an important question or they just don't ask. Frustrated!
Juliette is suppose to be a mechanic but she delivers babies and operates on GSW's (gun shot wounds - learned that from ER) on the side. Where the hell is Daniel? Why didn't Sun flash back in time with the other Oceanic 6?

The dull pain in my head, I've now named my "LOST headache".
But at least time travel was explained to us last week, I for one, understand the concept of time travel thanks to Miles and Hurley:

The Dancing With the Stars, Star Studded Extravaganza!

2009-03-23T15:09:00.006-04:00

Oh it's back on again. I love this show and don't know why. Dancing With The Stars is going into it's third week and I'm hooked again. But as wildly entertained as I am, I still have to make fun of it.

First of all, we're in season what? 9 ish and I still don't know over half of the stars, like I'm suppose to know a rodeo cowboy. My teenage boys know who Steve - O is, should I be scared? I have to call them when it's Steve - O's turn to dance, they will actually watch Dancing With the Stars with me for that brief moment. Before that the dog was the only one in the house that would watch with me. She is my loyal companion, that dog.
Then, I have to ask the burning question I'm sure you are all wondering. The producers of Dancing With the Stars made the executive decision to have a dance off? Well okay, but does it have to be from the two worst dances? Seriously, what makes them think we want to watch bad dancing, again? Does that make sense to anyone?
So who do I predict to win? Who cares as long as MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY and TONY DOVOLANI don't get kicked off for a while, they're hot. They really, really, really know they're hot too.

Watching Paula Babble

2009-03-10T21:46:00.004-04:00

God I missed her. Just watching her babble away put a grin on my face. The episode isn't even over and I have to blog about American Idol. I haven't been paying much attention to this show but now they are down to the top 13 contestants. It's starting to get interesting. The contestant Adam just got done singing and I think Paula had an orgasm. Somebody get her a cigarette. Of course Simon likes no one and Randy calls them all dudes and tells them they were a little pitchy. The new lady sits hunched over with her face to the micro-phone and yells out her criticism. But Paula, dear Paula we're really not sure what she's saying, it's great.

The Freakin' White House?

2009-03-09T16:58:00.005-04:00

I don't think my heart can take anymore two hour episodes of 24. When I finally had a chance to watch last Monday's double episode I sat on the edge of my seat with my heart racing for, whatever time it takes to watch a two hour show while I fast forward through the commercials. And I thank the Lord above for the ability to record something and fast forward through the cell phone commercial with the four geeks and Chad.
My last post about 24 I had my African bad guys mixed up. For the record, Matumbo is the good guy and Dubaku was the old bad guy, he's dead and now, there's a new bad guy, General Juma. General Juma stormed the White House and has the President, the Presidents daughter, Jack Bauer, Bill Buchanan, our beloved Aaron Pierce, Red from That 70's Show and a whole bunch of extras as hostages. The freakin' White House!? I can't wait to see how Jack Bauer gets them out of this one.

Heroes Teenagers

2009-03-04T18:52:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's because I'm a mom of teenagers, but are the adolescents on Heroes incredibly annoying or what? I was so happy with the episode last week, it was Claire Free. How many time have I just wanted to smack her upside the head? Countless. And that kid hanging around with Sylar, if I was Sylar I would have cut his brain out long ago. I'm not sure why I watch this show anymore. This week we had Matt and Peter giving commanding stares at military personal because they could both control peoples minds, it looked silly. I have to say I was right at the beginning of the season, Heroes is turning into The 4400.

Ohio Connections

2009-02-21T21:08:00.005-05:00

Maybe I watch too much TV to write about TV? Let's see......... Monday there's House, 24 and Heroes. Tuesday I watch NCIS and Fringe. Fringe is currently on hiatus, thank God I don't know what the hell's going on on that show. Wednesday, well Wednesday is "holy hour" LOST night. Thursdays Survivor is back on and The Office too. Nothing is ever on Friday's and Saturday's and Sunday I started watching The Amazing Race even though I said I wouldn't. I haven't seen American Idol yet and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do when Dancing With the Stars starts up again in March.
On the last episode of Survivor they voted Candace off, it was only afterward that I found out she was from Ohio, bummer. I'm surprised they voted her and her big boobs off. And we found out that Taj is married to Eddie George, an famous Ohio State football player. I don't know who Eddie George is but the husband does, huh. Oh and there is a couple from Ohio on The Amazing Race. Go Ohio! I will make a concentrated effort to start posting about these crazy shows and the Ohio connections.

LOST Still Remains a Mystery

2009-02-13T19:01:00.004-05:00

Okay Wednesday nights at 9:00pm have become holy hour at my house. Nobody is allowed to talk, the dog gets a special bone that keeps her busy and quiet for an hour and the phone doesn't get answered. LOST is awesome this season. We're getting some questions answered, not a lot but some. Time travel is why we kept seeing weird things on the island.

But just exactly how an entire island can move and the Losties keep moving through time and why the Losties that left have to come back and it will stop and all of them have to come back and how they can actually find the island that has now moved twice and they have to bring back Lockes dead body too, still remains a mystery. But isn't it good this season?

Janeane Garofalo is Ruining 24 and Jack Bauer Still Kicks Butt

2009-02-03T18:10:00.003-05:00

We finally get a convincible woman president on TV and her husband gets himself kidnapped by Matumbo the terrorist. The first gentleman is screwing everything up for Madam President. Jack Bauer just got the, ummm, the CP30 devise and saved the world AGAIN and now Matumbo the terrorist is going to send the first gentleman to Madam President piece by piece. Someone is going to get themselves killed trying to rescue whimpy and it better not be Tony. He's come back from the dead twice, another death and I think it might stick.
Since Chloe is my second favorite character on 24, I resent Janeane Garofalo, big time. Her face is on the screen a lot more than Chloe and she's doing Chloe geek stuff. She's ruining the whole world's coming to an end television experience for me. I hate when that happens.

Finally LOST

2009-01-22T21:55:00.005-05:00

After watching the long awaited season premier of LOST season 5, I'm not ashamed to admit my head hurts a little bit. I've seen my share of time traveling television entertainment but this one left me cross-eyed. I couldn't keep up. Where and when the hell are they?
Maybe I was having a hard time keeping up because Sawyer had his shirt off for the entire first hour. Ohhh baby. The guy, Frogurt?, that ended up giving him a shirt is now dead. Proving that there is justice in this world. I have to watch these episodes again, but I'm so stoked LOST is back on again and I fully enjoyed the two hours last night.

Creepy American Idol

2009-01-15T22:22:00.006-05:00

This guy grabbed his crotch a few times. It was unsettling. I was creeped out watching American Idol the last couple of nights. It seems there are quite a few characters auditioning to be the doofus that ends up on the seasons grand extravagant finale. I hardly watched much of the episodes, but I saw my share of weirdos. I'm content to wait until they sift through the creepy people.

________________________________________

On a serious note, if any of my readers are also readers/friends of fellow bloggers, The World of Silly Willy and Fluffy, they could use some kind words, as they are going through a family emergency. They are my Aunt and Uncle and my cousin is in critical condition. Thanks in advance.

Jack's Back

2009-01-13T21:12:00.003-05:00

After watching the first four hours of the latest threat to America, I'm hooked! Jack 'Freakin" Bauer is back to save the world whether the U.S government wants him to or not, damn it. Jack is always right and knows what the hell he's doing, when will they learn? Tony is back from the dead to help him, along with Chloe and Bill Buchanan. And that's about it. A rag tag group of four to save the world from impending doom. Awesome.
The only downside for me, so far, is that Janeane Garofalo is part of the cast. Not a big fan of hers. She plays a computer nerd. There was a scene last night where she was investigating a security leak down in the computer basement, alone. I kept hoping someone would discover her and ..... well, put her out of my misery. Didn't happen, maybe next week.

The Migration of the Beluga Whale

2009-01-09T21:19:00.002-05:00

You know how those animal shows hook ya when you're flipping through the channels, right? I stopped flipping and watched the Beluga Whales migrate. They migrate in the spring but sometimes they leave too early and the ice freezes over again so they get stuck in an opening in the ice. They have to keep surfacing to keep the ice from freezing over. This leaves them vulnerable to the dreaded Polar Bear. Which is a bummer cause the polar bear almost always comes out the victor. At some point I would think one of the Beluga Whales would try to say,
"Guys, I think we're leaving too early, let's wait a week or two and see if the weather changes."
But in this Polar Bear special I was watching, whoever was the Beluga Whale president gave them a thumbs or fin up and said, it was go time. They got stuck and were sitting ducks and I got to watch a Polar Bear wear down a Beluga Whale, drag it out on the ice, begin to chow down until a bigger Polar Bear came along and took over.

I have decided I'm going to watch 24 this season. They're sucking me in again. I have to watch Jack Bauer kick ass and I heard Chloe in an interview yesterday. I can't not watch Chloe, I love her character. I hope it doesn't suck this season.

Tracy McCool

2009-01-02T21:10:00.004-05:00

While flipping around channels, I happened upon a local commercial with a co-anchor from a local news station. She introduced herself as Tracy McCool. How McCool is that name? I'm sure she was never teased as a child. You can breeze through high school with a name like that.
I never watch local news because I'm a radio talk show junkie and I get my news there. I didn't even know Tracy McCool existed right here in Cleveland on Fox 8.

Million Dollar Password Baby

2008-12-30T19:31:00.005-05:00

So what's a network to do with all this free time on their hands waiting for the new episodes to start up again in January? Trot out an old game show with a million dollar price tag on it, of course, duh. And ever so gently wheel out Betty White to guess words like she did back in the day. Betty White is my favorite "senior" actresses, but I feared for her life after watching Million Dollar Password last night. She was totally into it, racking up points for contestants but there were so many bells and whistles, buzzers and beeps, lights flashing and dimming, I thought she would go into cardiac arrest.
Dear God bring me a new episode of LOST already.

Omarosa Wanna Be

2008-12-28T20:05:00.004-05:00

Oh look! I have another blog. I don't know if I think this blog is going to write itself or what? I celebrated my 500th post over at Farvel Cargo, my "other" blog, at the rate I'm going with View of Sue it will be about 2012 when I reach that here.
I had planned to blog about the Survivor Finale and how happy I was that Bob won, but that and the Omarosa wanna be are old news. If you are a Survivor fan you know of who I speak when I say an Omarosa wanna be. And she will not be mentioned by name on this blog, ever. If you have to be that mean for money, you deserve the bad karma that life is going to throw at you. Nuff said.
Hopefully my head will stop spinning after baking all those cookies for Christmas long enough to post regularly. I swear if my hand mixer shows it ugly face to me again I will kick it to the street.

Shirtless Sawyer

2008-12-13T20:00:00.006-05:00

Instead of sitting in front of my computer tonight I plan on sitting in front of my television watching my LOST DVD's. The wait for the new season is starting to get to me. I'm jonesin' for some Sawyer, shirtless preferably. And by the looks of the promo commercials he seems to have his shirt off quite a bit. Shirtless is how we last saw him at the end of season 4. So perhaps I will start with season 1 and fast forward to all the Sawyer scenes. I don't want to rush through the blessed holiday season but I can't wait for January 21, 2009!

Heroes/The 4400

2008-12-09T21:47:00.003-05:00

I use to watch the kookamonga show The 4400. It started off promising. 4400 people dropped off in a big ball of light in a field, all missing from different time periods and all having strange "abilities". Huh. As the season continued new abilities conveniently popped up when need to complete an episode. Huh. And then a synthetic abilities drug was made to give the normal people abilities. And this guy was one of the normal people that signed up to take the abilities drug.
On Heroes Monday there was a volunteer soldier willing to take the genetically altered drug that is suppose to give people "hero powers'. Huh. It's the same freakin guy. But with shorter hair.
I've been watching Heroes this season thinking this is turning into The 4400. I think my theory has been proven right. Who's with me on the train wreck? I will continue to watch and then bash it on this blog.

24 Redemption - Meh

2008-12-01T19:13:00.002-05:00

I watched 24 Redemption last week but I've seen it before. Tears of the Sun comes to mind. It's been done and I was bored by the two hour, 67 commercials movie.
They should have let Jack Bauer ride off into the sunset seasons ago. How much more tortured can a man get? I'm less than thrilled for 24 season 7. With every season there's a new President of the United States, so that put us in about the year 2024, give or take. A television show has jumped the shark when they start bringing people back from the dead. And that would be Tony. He's coming back, again.
So I have to decide if I really want to get into another season of Jack Bauer kicking ass. See just saying that makes me want to watch it and then there's Chloe, my favorite character, I'd miss her. I don't know what to do.

Dancing With The Stars Finale

2008-11-26T18:15:00.004-05:00

Hey Brooke Whatshername won Dancing With The Stars. She's who I would have voted for if I still voted. But I haven't voted since Mr. Do Wap Diddy Do kept lumbering around the dance floor a few seasons ago.
Again I'd like to thank Dancing With The Stars for entertaining the hell out of me and bringing re-cap shows to a whole new level. There is no way you can miss anything on this show because they know how to re-cap until you're cross-eyed.
I watched just about the whole two hour season finale, usually I just watch the last 4 minutes of the results show, but being the finale, I thought it warranted my full attention. I dropped a few EntreCards during Miley Cyrus, not even sure if I spelled that right and don't even care.
I managed to watch House last night also, record NCIS and Fringe, watched Fringe this afternoon and will watch NCIS with the husband this evening. And I wonder why I have no clean socks.

The Fake Immunity Idol

2008-11-21T19:45:00.003-05:00

Well Randy didn't see that coming, but the editors of Survivor made sure that everyone else on God's green earth did. I have to give kudos to Bob for making such a convincing fake Immunity Idol. Who wouldn't have thought it was real?
I confess I would have liked to see Randy win. Mainly because he decided not to kiss anyone's butt and he irritated Crystal - a lot. I'm not a Crystal fan. Crystal did make me laugh when she spouted off at Tribal Council during the voting. She elected to shout out her reason for voting for Randy instead of secretly whispering. Never saw that before. I can't think of anyone left that I want to win, they are all pretty much annoying. If I had to pick I guess I would go with Kenny, he's playing a good game.

That's What She Said

2008-11-17T15:22:00.004-05:00

You really have to be an Office fan to get this little clip, but I had to post it because it was really funny. Poor Pam is feeling home sick. Jim is wearing a Blue Tooth ear phone so Pam can hear everything in The Office that's she's missing. And she grabbed a "That's What She Said." It was great!

Have a few questions after watching the latest episodes this season:
1. Why is Angela marrying Andy?
2. Why did Ryan want to get back with Kelly?
3. Why did Toby leave?

Those are a few things I don't understand.

Susan Lucci Never Got Jiggy Wit It.

2008-11-10T15:49:00.006-05:00

When Susan Lucci got the boot off Dancing With the Stars last week you would have thought she won a major award. Samatha Harris asked Susan the standard yada yada what do you take from this experience yada yada question. And then the acceptance speech started. Susan grabbed on to the Samatha's microphone with both hands and thanked everyone. I didn't hear a word she said because I was fixated on that microphone. Susan Lucci had it in both hands but Samatha wasn't going to give it up, she held on and never let it go. You could see all three hands with a white knuckled, firm grip. I found a rather long clip on YouTube, but you can fast forward to almost the middle to see what I'm talking about:

It was truly time for Susan Lucci to go. She was never going to be able to get jiggy wit it, bust a move, get her groove on.................she sucked at dancing, really.

Survivor Season 17

2008-11-06T21:59:00.005-05:00

You have to wonder after 17 seasons of Survivor why these contestants continually get surprised when they are dumped off on an island with only the clothes on their backs. They have on suits and ties or they’re in a skirt and blouse. Stuck for the duration with office wear in the jungle. Haven’t they seen the show before? Put on a pair of tactical pants guys!

I haven’t posted on Survivor this season, partly because there were too many names to remember. But now as they dwindle down I’m ready to post. Marcus was voted off tonight, making him the first member of the jury. Charlie is going to be pissed and Susie is toast. I wanted Ace to win but he was voted off last week. Now I think I’m rooting for that SOB Randy, he’s cracking me up.

The Comic Relief Has Left The Ballroom.

2008-11-03T19:14:00.005-05:00

It is done, the comic relief has left the ballroom. No longer must we watch Dancing With The Stars cringing and waiting for those brittle bones to break. Or seeing good dancers leave to watch Cloris Leachman wander around the dance floor.
I look forward to enjoying the hour and a half show tonight and then waiting 2 days, because of election coverage, to see who gets the next ticket home.

The Huddy Kiss

2008-10-29T17:43:00.003-04:00

'Bout damn time too!

I don't think there is a woman on the planet that is a perfect match for House, but I was happy to see The Huddy Kiss.
Huddy = House and Cuddy names mooshed together. The weird, geeky people that watched too much TV know that "Huddy" is a "ship name".
Ship name = Relationship of two people and their two names are made to make one.
Example: Brad Pitt and Anjolina Jolie = Branjolina
Be afraid if you understand this. Sleep well if you don't.

I'm Not Joining the Fringe Cult.............Yet.

2008-10-21T15:24:00.004-04:00

I'm still watching Fringe, but haven't joined the cult. I know there are secrets and clues but I'm resisting getting involved. I only have time to be entertained, not start a full blown, obsessive investigation to the inner workings of a TV show. I am being entertained, that's why I continue to watch. I'm intrigued on how the relationship between the Mad Scientist, Walter and his son Peter will develop. Walter is stealing the show with his Mad Scientist/Repenting Dad/Kid in a Candy Store character. He can be talking about something as serious as reconstructing some one's DNA while shuffling his feet on the carpet so he can touch Peter on the ear to shock him. "Wool socks." he says. He's exhausting Peter and it's funny as hell.

Say it ain't so Maksim Chmerkovskiy, say it ain't so!

2008-10-11T22:08:00.016-04:00

As soon as I saw her hobble out with crutches and a cast on her foot I knew all hope was gone to see Maks dance far into this season of Dancing With The Stars. Damn Misty May-Treanor's blown Achilles tendon! Just look at him!

He's as in love with himself as we all are isn't he?
Now what do we have to look forward to on Dancing With The Stars this season? Let me see..... Okay, which hip will Cloris Leachman break first, left or right? Because you know something is going to give. Which surgically implanted boobie of Susan Lucci's will burst first, left or right? They're too big for the rest of her body, dear God they are each bigger than her head. Which of Warren Sapp's underarm perspiration stains will be bigger next week, left of right? Wouldn't it be great if he didn't lift his arms anymore? Really you have a 50 / 50 shot at getting these answers right. Let's watch as see shall we?

Heroes ...... Huh?

2008-10-05T14:04:00.021-04:00

Did Heroes have a hard to follow start this season or is it just me? I watched the last episode last year, but I'm confused. Nikki, she's dead then? I was happy to find out that there isn't a secret clone army of Nikki's on the planet Kamino being developed, just triplettes. Nathan and Peter are Sylar's brothers, all offspring of the creepy Angela Petrelli aka Mommy Dearest? Mohinder is turning into The Fly? He can totally pull that off though. Matt has been teleported to a desert, where he meets some kind of Guru with Guru goop that he eats to see the future?
Can you tell I'm not even trying with this show. I refuse to get sucked into message boards with theories out the wazoo. It happened to me with LOST but not again. If I can't figure out what's going on just by watching every week, instead of joining message boards, playing online games, reading a damn comic book and searching for spoilers then I'm done. Done I tell you!

Ladies and Gentleman, this is Dancing With The Stars

2008-09-26T17:51:00.001-04:00

The Star Studded Extravaganza that is Dancing With The Stars has begun. WooHoo! Although I'm at a loss as to who over half of the "Stars" are, this show still entertains the hell out of me. Max is back this season, thank you God. Tony is partnered up with the skinniest woman "Star" this year, I guess after having to hoist the beefy broad around last season it was owed to him. Ted McGinley was voted off second, he's the guy from Married With Children. I can tell him why he was voted off, here you go Ted: he was trying to appeal to Joe Six Pack, "I'm just a regular guy who sits on the recliner and drinks beer, I just wanna show these guys we can dance. " Duh.... whatever. The problem is Joe Six Pack ain't watchin'. Trust me, I'm married to one, he'd rather chew aluminum foil. In fact, when Dancing With The Stars first came on, he got up from his recliner and said, "Where's the aluminum foil?" And then he disappeared. Nice try Ted.
And then there's Cloris Leachman. Dear God voters, you know you're voting for her for all the wrong reasons. You're going to feel bad when she falls down and can't get up. She was funny the first night, but the Alzheimer's routine is going to get old fast. Just keep her around a couple more week's and then that's it and I mean it, really.

Don't Lose Me!

2008-09-22T18:59:00.004-04:00

It’s the first day of Fall, the pool is closed and my tan has noticeable faded. All that work for an even tan for the wedding, faded away. I can get rather dark. Especially when I was running around all summer without a care in the world. Actually, back in the day when I was a kid and I went on a family beach vacation with my rather pale friends family. Her mother said to my mother, “Don’t worry if we lose them, they’ll be easy to find. I’ll just ask around if anyone has seen a little black and a little white girl walking around together.” While they all found this hysterical, all I could think was, “Lose me? Lose me amongst all the New Jersey attractions, this is funny to you? Mom? Do you really think you should send me with this woman?” Now that I think of it, with children of my own, yeah it’s funny. You need to put a little fear into them to have them stick close to you in a crowd and we did. And I’m happy to say no one lost me or my lighter shade of pale friend on the Jersey Shore.

With Golden Tickets in Hand

2008-09-18T15:30:00.004-04:00

With every intention to post my view of the latest episode of Fringe, I instead went to the Cleveland Indians game last night. We got our hands on four Golden Tickets and I couldn't pass up an evening of free food, Cliff Lee's attempt to win game number 23 and more free food. Cliff Lee had a rough night but I on the other hand, ate until I couldn't move.
We were in row J, so it was quite a chore to keep walking up and down the steps for hotdogs, peanuts, waffle fries, nacho's and ice cream, so we developed a system. The husband and I brought my parents with us and we foraged for food in pairs. Two of us would load up our pockets and arms with said items, chow down and then the other two would go for more. The evening went well for us, not so much for Cliff Lee.

My View of Fringe

2008-09-13T18:28:00.002-04:00

I can think of no better to way to grab an audience than to show them a plane full of people as their faces melt off, awesome. I'm calling Fringe my new kookamonga show. Why? Because Fringe has government cover-ups, fringe science, unexplained phenomena, the creepy black guy from LOST, a half dead guy with transparent skin, a mad scientist and JJ Abrams is involved. All the makings of a cult show.
The mad scientist, Dr. Walter Bishop, played by John Noble, seems to be the only doctor that can save the transparent skin guy. The problem is, he has been in a mental institute for 17 years. It's amazingly easy to spring him out and start up his basement laboratory, but hey it's TV right?
The show moved at a faster pace than, oh I don't know, LOST? Another JJ Abrams creation. Like LOST, there were symbols and clues and I suppose Easter eggs to delve into, but I refuse to get that involved.
If you missed the first episode Tuesday, it will be on again Sunday night. I plan to watch the second episode, probably the third and so on, we'll see.

Fringe, I'm Watching It Tomorrow

2008-09-08T19:57:00.004-04:00

After conducting little or no research I've decided the new show I'm going to watch this premier season is called Fringe. It's on Fox, tomorrow at 8:00pm. So really the research I did was to see if it conflicted with any of the multitude of other shows I already watch. And it looks freaky enough to hold my interest. Freaky enough to drive the husband crazy too. Oh and it will keep me occupied while America's Got Talent is on, because Lord knows I've lost enough brain cells watching that show.
Fringe is on a Tuesday on Fox, so I'm fully prepared to be totally into the show and then have it taken off for weeks and weeks to accommodate American Idol. That's what will happen, just so you know.

An Eskimo in the White House?

2008-08-30T13:44:00.005-04:00

Unable to retain much information from my High School years, because let's face it, I knew everything back then. I went a little further back in the memory banks to see if I could dust off some information I may have on Alaska.
Here's what I found:
- Frozen Tundra
- Eskimo's
- Igloo's
- It's really cold, but it's not the North Pole and Santa doesn't live there.

Being a radio talk show junkie I first heard the news of John McCain's Vice Presidential running mate choice on the radio. You have to paint yourself pictures while listening to the radio and I painted an Eskimo. Not an Eskimo in an igloo, a more modern one, but an Eskimo none the less.
As the news of Sarah Palin was presented to the world, I learned she is the Governor of Alaska, married with 5 kids, a beauty pageant contestant, a basketball player, hunts moose and eats them. The more I read, the more I wondered, no one really knew who Sarah Palin was until yesterday. She had a pretty sweet gig going on. Now she has brought the world into hers and her families lives and opened herself up to the biggest media anal exam there is known to man. It isn't going to be pretty. Republicans get a more thorough exam than the Democrats. It will be interesting to see how she holds up. Trust me if she lives in an igloo or has ever been in an igloo, we'll know about it. Oh and she's not an Eskimo.

Celebrities at the Wedding

2008-08-22T18:56:00.006-04:00

I'm not apologizing for not posting lately.

A. Boy #1 got married Saturday, you can see a post on it at Farvel Cargo and
2. There's nothing on TV except the Olympics, which I keep watching anyway. I watched Ping Pong with my morning cup of coffee this morning. I'm getting tired of the Olympics. I suppose everyone else is too, that would explain the lack of comments on my last Olympic post.
There were celebrities at the wedding Aug. 16th. Silly Willy and Fluffy attended, but their true identities will remain a mystery. Not on my watch!
They are a couple of clowns that have a blog called The World of Silly Willy and Fluffy. Here you can see them having punch and cookies right after the ceremony.
The wedding was a huge success, I bought the happy couple each a toothbrush, it's all I could afford after the rehearsal dinner and buying the booze.

What's Up With the Water Polo Hats?

2008-08-12T20:56:00.005-04:00

I spent way too much time watching Mens Water Polo on the Olympics this past weekend, it was something like 15 minutes. I've never seen Water Polo except on the Olympics and I remain clueless after all these years. Are they wearing boy hats or girl hats? Why must they tie it in a neat little bow under their chins? I couldn't look away from the hats, never saw the ball. And why in the name of all that is holy are there two teams playing and in the picture, three different color hats. Is Water Polo the equivilent of Curling in the Winter Olympics?

Problematic Panties

2008-08-02T18:36:00.002-04:00

I've done a little research after seeing the latest Hanes Panties commercial, the Wedgie Free campaign they have going on. You may have seen it, it's new though and I can't find it on YouTube, yet. Everyday ladies in all shapes and sizes, doing everyday stuff and all of them suffering a "ride up" problem. They are shown giving a few glances around their present surroundings and then do a little butt jiggle.
Seriously, a guy can hoist his pants up to his neck, swish them around, re-arrange his boys and scratch his butt and no one gives him a second look. Have a woman sneak a little tug and we are shunned from society. I applaud Hanes for tackling the "ride up" problem. You Go Hanes!

JAWS, Through the Eyes of the Innocent

2008-07-30T18:05:00.004-04:00

Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head. I never get tired of that scene, never get tired of the movie.

Our family watches it all the time. We have JAWS on VHS, we've never updated to DVD, it's always on TV. The family, all together one Sunday, including a couple girlfriends, we were deep into "movie" conversation. JAWS of course being the classic that it is started to dominate the conversation. Boy #2's girlfriend was quiet, too quiet. She explains to us she's never seen it. The hell you say! Boy #3 and I torn apart the spare room looking for the JAWS tape, Boy #1 and the husband made fun of her and Boy #2 started wiring the VCR to the TV again.
To actually find someone that has never seen JAWS and to be able to watch it with them as they see it for the first time, well that's huge. Then add the fact that the girlfriend is packing to go on an ocean cruise with her family, that's just priceless.
She's a screamer. She was sitting in a chair and Boy #2 was sitting on the floor, she kept smacking him on the head saying, "Oh my God!" He eventually put his football helmet on.
We haven't watched the uncut version of JAWS in so long we had forgotten how much Quint was chewed up. No wonder my cousin had nightmares after she saw it at the theater when she was 12. She thought the shark was going to come out of her toilet. It's time to upgrade to DVD and have some more people over to scare.

Our Golden Tickets

2008-07-26T15:52:00.008-04:00

It all started with free Cleveland Indians Baseball tickets, a magical, summer evening of baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. There are tickets to baseball games out there in the world that come with free food. I know all about the loge tickets, those are not what I'm referring to.
In the stadium, up the escalator, the unfortunate fans that had to pay for their food, took a left, we Golden Ticket holders turned right. Glass doors were opened for us, tickets checked, paper bracelets were double sticky taped around our wrists and we were ushered into a cornucopia of stadium food. Imagine going to a baseball game hungry, wondering what to have and then realizing you can have everything. There was a hamburger and hot dog grill with french fries, a nacho stand, a pasta bar, pizza and sticking out like a sour thumb - a carved beef station, holy crap carved beef! All the snack foods were well represented, popcorn, peanuts, cotton candy and hot pretzels.
Along for the feeding frenzy ride with me were the husband, Boy #2 and Boy#3. None of us stayed in our seats very long. We would glance at each other and say, "What do you feel like eating now?" The people in the bleachers were trying to get "The Wave" started in the stadium but it stopped when it got to our section. We were just to bogged down with food to bother standing up and lifting our arms.
In the middle of all the food was a pop machine (I'm from Ohio, we call it pop not soda and I refuse to conform) the nozzles went on forever, Pepsi flavors to the left and right of me. But this proved to be the trickiest part of the evening. We should have just stood back and observed, but we jumped right in. No lines formed for this little slice of heaven, the object was to stand back and stick your arm in and fill you glass, more pop could flow this way. Eventually we caught on and didn't look like morons standing in front taking up space. Boy #2 must've drank him fifteen Dr. Peppers.
Needless to say we ate and drank our fill. There was a baseball game going on too, we watched some of that. Did I mention the ice cream parlor?

Starbucks Across From a Starbucks

2008-07-24T15:43:00.009-04:00

When I heard in the news that Starbucks plans to close 600 of it's stores, I immediately thought of Lewis Black.

So if you are planning on visiting the end of the universe, you better hurry.

Exorcism Squads

2008-07-18T19:07:00.006-04:00

I heard on the news today that Pope Benedict XVI has said there needs to be more exorcisms performed in the world. Well it's about damn time. I haven't seen a good exorcism since about 1973. This is good news for entertainment bloggers, there's nothing on TV in the summer.

Of course we'll need a few volunteers to film the live exorcisms and post them on YouTube. I'm a little skittish or I would do it. The news failed to tell us when the barrage of exorcisms would start, I would imagine there is some recruiting and training involved. You really don't see exorcist on many resumes. Nevertheless be on the look-out for an Exorcist Squad coming to your town this summer.

Tuesday Night Bull-Crap

2008-07-16T19:46:00.002-04:00

You'd think I'd have more time to post with nothing on TV in the summer. Wait a minute........ I blog about television, there's nothing on television.........
You can see where I'm having the problem. Actually the husband has taken control over the remote this summer and who can blame the poor guy after last fall and my wild viewing schedule.
I wouldn't mind watching America's Got Talent, because let's face it, it's a bloggers dream. I watched the last seven minutes of it last week and realized what a hyped-up, phoney baloney, plastic banana, load of crap show it was - only seven minutes. There's the audience cheering their heads off for someone who is suppose to be unknown, yet they knew his name. We, the viewing audience are told his life story. He was left raising his brothers and sisters after his mother left them, because she was being abused by the father. I'll let that sink in a minute..........

She left her children with their abusive father, got it?

I don't even know this guys name, but he's about to make it big on America's Got Talent and guess what? Momma came home! Awesome!

It's that kind of bull-crap I'm missing every Tuesday night.

In Plain Sight

2008-07-07T16:20:00.001-04:00

On rare occasions the husband and I find a television show that we both enjoy watching. It doesn’t happen often, but we have agreed on In Plain Sight. I think the husband likes to see where, Mary, the main character that is a US Marshal, will hide her Blackhawk holsters. One time, under a bridesmaid dress. One reason I watch is to see Raphael without his shirt. The episode last night had me questioning the Witness Protection Program and the liberties television will take. It was my understanding that when in the Witness Protection Program you were hidden, you know from the people that wanted to kill you. But this episode had a high school basketball player on his way to the Pro’s. Huh? He’d be on TV!

Jesus! Celebrity Family Feud?

2008-06-25T18:14:00.004-04:00

I voluntarily watched Joan Rivers last night on Celebrity Family Feud. What the hell is wrong with me? Gah!!! Clearly I have too much time on my hands. Four different "families" played for charity. We will use the word family loosely, because if they needed exposure they were part of the family. Wayne Newton seems to relish in the celebrity roll since appearing on Dancing With The Stars or likes to embarrass himself. And he still has no eyelids. He and Joan Rivers are a walking billboard for "the gruesome effects of too much plastic surgery."
Ice "T", his family and his wife's boobs were on the show too. The very first question asked was, "Name something that is slippery and hard to hold on too." The answer that Ice "T" gave, had to be bleeped out. Nice. Did I mention his 16 year old son was playing? Oh and his mother-in-law?

After watching Celebrity Family Feud one has wonder if the actors going on strike might be a good thing.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light

2008-06-18T18:52:00.003-04:00

Quite possibly the greatest album of all time, at least according to me. I've been listening to Bat Out Of Hell since I was a kid. I had the album, had the cassette and now the CD and I will buy whatever is next. Unless of course Meat Loaf continues to ruin the songs one by one with mobile phone commercials.
Boy #2 had my car over the weekend, he used up my gas and rearranged my CD's. I couldn't find my mix CD so I popped Bat Out Of Hell in the CD player, I hadn't listened to it in a while. When I heard Paradise By The Dashboard Light that stupid commercial stuck in my head, gaaah! Meat Loaf, buddy it's a classic, not meant to sell Go Phones. Sell Go Phones door to door if you have to, work at McDonalds to make a living but leave Bat Out Of Hell the classic album that it is, alone. Paradise By The Dashboard Light is ruined for me forever, damn.

Reality TV: Okay That's Enough

2008-06-12T18:43:00.004-04:00

Hey, I'm a Reality TV fan, really. But damn. Celebrity Circus? Please, stop the madness. I watched a whole painful hour of that show. (I missed the first half hour because Boy #2 talked me into watching the movie Crank. Not a movie for a mother and her son, plus a his girlfriend to be watching together. I'm not going to talk about it.)

Celebrity Circus, and they use the word celebrity loosely, has about six or seven "celebrities" performing circus acts and they are judged by a know-it-all, uptight, woman acrobat with some kind of accent, some guy in the middle and a gay guy. Peter Brady broke his arm in training, some other woman broke her rib and Joey Fatone, our host, asked them, "why go on?"
"So we can get a great job like you got Joey, after you were on Dancing With The Stars. Look at you all dressed up in a red coat with tails and a top hat."
Okay so they didn't say that. They stressed how they didn't quit and stuff. I can't watch this anymore. I worried about Peter Brady falling on his head and I'm a little tired of seeing Rachel Hunter on every Reality TV show that comes down the pike. And what the hell happened to Antonio Sabato, Jr.'s career that he has to be on Celebrity Circus?

Let's Move an Island, It'll Be Fun

2008-06-04T18:33:00.007-04:00

By now if you are a LOST fan you've seen the final 2 hour episode. So you don't need me to tell you what happened. But you do need to know what I thought of it. Any LOST episode is worth the price of admission to me, if Sawyer has his shirt off. Which he did. Oh................. Baby. He jumped off the "losing fuel" helicopter to lighten the load so the rest of the passengers could get to the safety of the freighter that was about to blow up. He lost his blood splattered shirt on his swim back to the beach where he found Juliette chugging a bottle of Dharma Rum and staring at the blown up freighter. She was bummed, she's never getting off Craphole Island and she knows it.

The six that did get off the island apparently have to go back, Jack was right, according to Ben. In the flash-forwards we get to see Claire and she orders Kate not to bring Aaron back. So you can safely bet the farm that Kate will. Hurley is comfortable in the mentally challenged house playing chess with an invisible Mr. Eko, it was good to almost see him again, when Sayid creeps in after killing someone that was watching the place. Sayid tells Hurley they are leaving for somewhere safe. The safety and comfort of his tent on Craphole Island I'm sure of it. Locke is the person in the coffin and I didn't see that coming until I read the spoilers a couple days before the episode, whoa. I was sure it was going to be Michael, but he was blown up instead, after Jacks dead father told him he could go now.
Ben successfully moved the island as you can see in the picture, see that big empty ocean? Thats where the island use to be. Doh! And Ben was really pissed at Jacob the Invisible. Because Jacob the Invisible is the one that came up with the great idea to move the island. The one that moves it can't come back - Ben.

I plan on harping on this 2 hour season finale a few times over the summer, into the fall and part of the winter, until we can see the new season of LOST. Trust me there is enough blogging material from this last season to get me through the long freakin wait.

The Wheel of Fortune, Still on the Air

2008-05-27T20:04:00.005-04:00

Holy Crap! The Wheel of Fortune is still on TV? During an early flip through the channels today (because I'm lost without my Dancing With The Stars) I stumbled upon Pat Sajak and Vanna White. Vanna is still in charge of the letters but doesn't have to turn them anymore, she just pushes a button. Pat couldn't sound any less enthused.
Question? Do the producers of the show pick dumb contestants to play so those of us at home can feel smarter? For the five minutes that I watched, I saw two guys that were a team, go bankrupt twice and ask to buy the vowel A............ twice.
Dude, it's Leprechauns hidden pot of gold. You can't see that?
Apparently in an effort to spice things up, there are teams playing against each other. Tonight was Grads and Dads, clever. The dad on the far right is going to have his hands full with his grad, the hot-headed Wheel of Fortune player that buys for A's before thinking.
During my five minutes of The Wheel of Fortune the camera's didn't zoom in on Pat or Vanna, so I can not report on how well they are holding up. But they have to be the two most boring people in the world after playing Hangman for, what? about 50 years.

Thank You Dancing With The Stars

2008-05-21T17:07:00.002-04:00

For entertaining the hell out of me! Call me a geek if you want to but I love Dancing With The Stars and I enjoyed this season a ton! I even voted the last week and I'm convince that I'm the one who was responsible for Kristi Yamaguchi winning the Big Giant Mirror Ball Trophy. I've watched the Cha Cha Face Off on You Tube about 7 times already and decided it needs to be on my blog:

I enjoyed Dancing With The Stars more than American Idol this season. There has been rumor and speculation about Paula Abdule being interested in next season's Dancing with The Stars. Oh please, please, please let that crazy woman be on the next season. That's an entertainment bloggers dream. Is there a petition I can sign to get her on the show?

Getting to the Bottom of LOST

2008-05-17T15:51:00.001-04:00

I’m thinking of taking my economic stimulus check, hopping on a plane to Hawaii, then rent a car and drive around the islands until I find out what the hell is going on, on my favorite show LOST.

Who’s with me? I’m going to need a head count when it comes to the car rental part of the trip. I love LOST but I can’t take it anymore. I’m the kind of person that reads the end of a book first. It doesn’t help any that Claire seems to be in on what’s going on. She’s hanging out with her dead father now. I guess that’s more fun than dragging a baby around the jungle week after week.

So when you get your economic stimulus check, let’s go stimulate the hell out of Hawaii and find some answers!

Oh and I haven’t posted on LOST because being the impatient person that I am I’ve found out some spoilers and I’m afraid to slip!

American Idol Dorks

2008-05-08T17:43:00.003-04:00

Finally! Jason Castro is free of American Idol. He didn't want to be there anymore than Simon does. I really think he tried out as a bet with his buddies and as a fluke made it as far as he did. I heard Ryan say, "You almost look relieved that you're leaving."
Jason actually said, "Yeah a little bit. There are three songs next week, I didn't know what I was going to do."
After seeing the Ford Mustang Commercial they had to star in, I got down on my knees and thanked the Lord above for a fast-forward button. The four finalists will be haunted the rest of their lives with those embarrassing matador costumes. I can't watch these results shows anymore and expect to keep my sanity.

A Decent Set of Knockers

2008-05-07T20:58:00.004-04:00

Only in the name of science could House deliver the line, "Where can I find a decent set of knockers?" My husband and I laughed so hard we cried. House was trying to find out if his patient was impotent. In the name of science I'm telling you. The patient ended up having an allergy to quinine but getting to the diagnosis is quite entertaining. Hey Dr. House! Just look at my previous post!

Just Leave Paula Alone

2008-05-05T16:22:00.004-04:00

She's an American Idol treasure for God's sake. And she can tell the future. What would the American Idol wanna-be's do without her infinite wisdom? Go right from Randy's "check it out dawg it was a little pitchy for me" to Simon telling them they sounded like cruise ship entertainment and they are utterly boring and forgettable? Paula is their "take a deep breath" babble buffer. A lull between two storms. A voice of non-sensical, un-constructed criticism. And she tells them they look good.

I've read the blogs. There are those who think enough is enough, Paula should leave the show. The hell you say! She's damn good, live television entertainment!

Explaining LOST

2008-05-04T17:51:00.002-04:00

If you are a avid watcher of LOST have you ever tried to explain a scene to anyone that isn't? Last episode the husband decided to stay up instead of going to bed when LOST came on. He's under strict instructions to be quiet until commercials. During the episode when Sawyer found Aaron alone in the jungle crying I knew there was no way I could explain this to him to have it make any sense. But it went a little something like this:

That man in the middle of the night, deep in the jungle, that Claire saw holding her baby, Aaron, is indeed her dad. Only he's suppose to be dead, that's why Jack was in Australia, to bring back his body. Oh, Jack and Claire are brother and sister by the same dead guy, but they don't know they are related. This dead guy keeps showing up on craphole island, Jack found his coffin, conveniently empty.
So Claire followed the dead guy that was holding her baby and disappeared. Aaron, who Claire has been holding since she had him, is alone crying in the jungle. So where the hell is Claire? Walking around the jungle with a dead guy?

You see where I'm coming from? Claire has already gone missing, we've been there and done that. We know something happens to Claire and she doesn't make it off the island and Aaron does. I can't think of anything more annoying as to why if the explanation is that she just disappeared.

Survivor Blindsiding

2008-05-03T19:50:00.003-04:00

It's awesome to watch these people get voted off not having a clue that they are about to be blind sided. Three blind sides in a row, Ozzy, Jason and then Alexis. Natalie is becoming quite the Survivor Bitch and it seems to be a role she's very comfortable in. She just might have a place in the top 5 bitches of Survivor secure. She wants to floss her teeth with Jason's jugular. Yikes!

James injured a finger, it got infected and medical took him out of the game. He's one of my favorite survivors. He walked into Tribal council and sat in the jury box hooked up to an IV. Another Survivor first. I'm going to miss him.
I'm enjoying this season. To keep my view of the television shows I watch my own, I've been avoiding the site Television Without Pity. One of my favorite sites and I will be catching up over there during the summer. There are some good writers on that site.

Bra Storage Room

2008-04-27T16:00:00.002-04:00

Am I so out of touch with the rest of the women in the world that I didn’t know we are suppose to use our bra’s for storage room? I recently viewed a bra commercial that showed women taking everything from money to their cell phones out of their bra. I thought that was what pockets in your BDU pants were for or your purse. If I put a cell phone in my bra it would fall out. I really don’t have much to keep it secure in there.

Nailed at 9

2008-04-23T20:38:00.003-04:00

It's a Home Improvement Show. But I caught your attention didn't I? I guess that's Nailed at 9's master plan too. The husband watches the DIY channel and they just advertised this new show. Holy Crap! It sounds like an Adult Film. How do you talk about that show around the water cooler?

Dancing With The Stars Rootin Tootin Extravaganza

2008-04-23T19:42:00.003-04:00

There is really no way to discuss the group dance without sounding mean. But I don't want to watch a pair of big beefy thighs hanging out of a short denim skirt. It was a bit unsettling when poor Tony hoisted Marissa up in the air. There was no way she would come back down gracefully. And Tony is going to break something if he keeps doing that.

There have been no surprises thus far for this season of Dancing With The Stars. Perhaps the Stars have learned that you really have to work the viewing audience and go for the sympathy votes. We learned that Kristi Yamaguchi was born with a club-foot, Marlee Matlin got a pep-talk from The Fonz, Mario talked to his little brother on the phone and says he misses him, what are they trying to do, turn Dancing With The Stars into a telethon?
We say good-bye to Marlee Matlin this week. Maybe Henry Winkler should have worn his leather jacket and said, "Aye! Vote for Marlee."

Did You See Ozzie's Face?

2008-04-22T15:52:00.003-04:00

Now that I only have one outside the house job, I should be able to regularly tear apart the contestants on Survivor. Did you see his face? Awesome. Ozzie really thought he was coasting through the game didn't he? I watched the episode at 11:00 pm, Thursday night and laughed my ass off. And Eliza's reaction on the jury? Priceless. I don't know what Ozzie is more upset about, being totally blind sided or having to spend the next couple of weeks with Eliza.
Here is a link to Survivor's website they're calling Life on the Survivor Ponderosa or something like that. Actually there are 5 videos and I watched them all, because I have that kind of time now. Before everyone of the 5 videos is the same Pantene commercial, I use to like that song of there's.
I'm still hoping James the Gravedigger will win, but he's seriously outnumbered. He's fun to watch. Cirie is playing a good game, I wouldn't mind seeing her win. I can't think of anyone else left that I would want to see win.

American Freakin' Idol with no Michael Johns

2008-04-20T14:54:00.004-04:00

I know it's hard to believe but I fell a sleep during American Idol's results show Wednesday. It's so jamb packed with riveting entertainment. I'll never get over missing the online questions from the massive viewing audience. A new feature this year that has me on the edge of my seat every week wondering, "Oh my God I wonder which question Ryan will pick? What juicy bits of information are we going to learn from these deer in the headlights, worried to say the wrong thing contestants?"
Kristi Lee Cook is finally gone, one week late as far as I'm concerned because damn it, Michael Johns should still be there. I'm not over his premature departure yet, either is my mom.

Reno 911

2008-04-14T17:37:00.000-04:00

While waiting for the TV shows to start back up again, since the writer’s strike ended, I’ve been keeping busy watching Reality TV, Lingo and my kids have me watching Reno 911. Yikes! Have you seen that guy in the short shorts? Something tells me I’m not going to find a pair of those on the BDU pants page of the LA Police Gear website.

Dancing With The Stars Says Goodbye to Adam Carolla

2008-04-13T12:45:00.002-04:00

Dancing With The Stars Review:
I'll miss Adam Carolla, to bad he couldn't dance because he was entertaining as hell. But along with his awful dancing I think he offended one to many special interest groups. I'm sure the judges are happy he's gone, he made them uncomfortable because he talked back to them. Another celeb dancer that makes the judges uncomfortable or just down-right scared of her is Priscilla Presley. Her surgically altered stare has them shaking in their dancing shoes. It's to late for poor Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann, but a word of advice for the rest of us. Try to avoid looking directly into her eyes and perhaps we can avoid another final three catastrophe.

American Freakin' Idol

2008-04-12T19:32:00.003-04:00

Mom and I are pissed. Look at him how cute he is! Where is the justice in this world when a cutey patutey like Michael Johns is voted off American Idol? He has a good voice too. It isn't like Mom and I just want him to win because of his looks. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I missed the results show because I had to work and because I hate results shows. But I hear Ryan was a real jerk and Paula was upset with him. I heard it on the radio, Ryan deflated Michaels dreams, gave him a glimmer of hope then crushed him again. Real nice Ryan Seacrest.

I Have a Reason for an Entire Week of no New Posts!

2008-04-07T22:21:00.002-04:00

I've never gone a whole week without posting. All can be explained in my other blog Farvel Cargo. Let's have a quick review, shall we?

Dancing With The Stars: Goot was banished and I think Dancing With The Stars will be a better place without his dorky facial expressions. Sorry but that's just me or maybe not. I was distracted by his mouth always open, I don't even know if he could dance well.

American Idol: Ramyalladalla, (the really short one) was dismissed and she cried her eyes out with Kristi Lee Cook, yeah Kristi was yet again in the bottom two. She will be lucky to come out of this competition with only an ulcer.

Survivor: James continues to entertain the hell out of me. He opened a beer bottle with his teeth and tried to coach Jason on the finer ways of beer bottle opening. But Jason was in serious jeopardy of immediate dental care, so James, claiming it's all leverage, opened the beer bottle for him. Ami the conniver was voted out and was asked to leave immediately.

That's it in a nutshell. Bare with me as I try to adjust to my new schedule. I ended up with two jobs, how I'm still not sure, but one will be done in two weeks.

My Beloved Cleveland Indians Have Started Regular Season

2008-03-31T17:42:00.003-04:00

Occasionally I will post about my Cleveland Indians. I'm not going to talk about their ugly "throwback" uniforms today, since it's opening day I should remain positive. A big plus is that the weather cooperated this year. Last year's opening day was in the midst of a blizzard.

So be prepared all you Yankee, White Sox and Red Sox fans. This is Cleveland's year!
Thank God the game is on early today so I don't miss Dancing With The Stars!

Results Shows

2008-03-27T14:52:00.002-04:00

Dancing With The Stars Review:
Well, not a review. You have to pay me the big bucks to sit through either Dancing With The Stars or American Idol's results shows. Big bucks baby. I don't have that kind of time to waste.
I missed the entire two hours of Dancing With The Stars Tuesday night, but did I call it or what? Penn Jillette is done and so is Monica Seles.

American Idol Review:
But not really a review. Again, I have things to do. But I did have it on and sat down from time to time. Unfortunately I caught the new part of the show where Ryan and his computer pull up questions from the internet. Ryan randomly picks a painful amount of questions for either the contestants or judges, who bumble through the stupid answers. I can not think of one question I would want to ask anyone on that show, that I thought I would get an honest answer to.
Last night Paula was gloveless and Syesha, Chikezie and dread-lock Jason were in the bottom three. I was surprised that Kristi Lee Cook dodged the bottom three bullet and so was she. In the end poor Chikezie got the ax, I thought he was doing so well. I guess it does all come down to song choice. Right?

Paula's Bejeweled, Black, Hooker Gloves

2008-03-26T11:07:00.002-04:00

American Idol, Season 7 Review:
I hope that everyone noticed Paula's bejeweled, black, hooker gloves last night. She waved them around all night and stuck them out like Frankenstein to make sure we saw them. Ryan, Randy and Simon never mentioned them and I think that hurt her feelings. So let's all give Paula a round of applause for her hooker gloves and for managing to stay upright most of the evening.
Randy didn't seem to be happy with most of the dreaded song choices, Paula disagreed with him and then tried to form thoughts on her own and Simon agreed with Randy, imagine that.
The top three performances, according to our beloved judges, were Michael Johns, David Cook and Syesha Mercado and I agree. Oh and they were quite impressed by Kristi Lee Cook, but the rest of them fell into the poor song choice category.

Dancing With The Stars

2008-03-25T11:57:00.004-04:00

Dancing With The Stars Review:
I saw The Fonz in the audience! Jimmy Kimmel was there too. Tonight after about 2 hours of stuff we have already seen we will find out which of the 12 couples have danced their last dance together. Two couples will go home this week. Monica Seles should go, she really sucks at dancing, stick with tennis Monica. There are two guys that should go but I will miss them terribly, because they are wildly entertaining, Penn Jillette and Adam Carolla. One person that can't wait to get rid of them, I'm sure, is one of the judges, Bruno. Jillette and Carolla will not take any crap from the judges and give it right back to them, especially Bruno.

I failed to mention last week how incredibly disappointed I am that Maks is not one of the Pro's this season, he's my favorite. And he takes his shirt off, a lot. Damn.

Kristi Yamaguchi <---- I took the time to look up the correct spelling, she was awesome. The football player Jason Taylor was too. The rest of the dances were middle of the road, I wouldn't be upset if Steve Guttenberg got voted out though or if he would just try to keep his mouth closed for most of his dance, that would work for me too.